Chapter 34

Press the star looking thingyyy dont ask why, just do it… Drop a fucking comment coz I said so and have a blast reading this.😤😁

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“Leave me alone” I chuckle pulling my hand away from Sparks’ when she studies my knuckles for too long.

“What the fuck happened? You got into a fight within the few hours we’ve been apart?” she laughs pulling my hand to study it again and I laugh again hiding it behind my back. She doesn’t need to know about last night’s boxing match.

“No, leave me the fuck alone… mom” I scoff and she frowns stretching her open palm.

“Give me the hand Forbes…” I frown at the use of the name and she notices it “What? You call me by my second name… I think it’s only fair, plus I like the name Forbes” she shrugs.

“That’s my dad’s name” I point out and she shrugs again.

“Don’t think of it like that, think of it as… Our inside thing, you know” she explains and honestly I hated both of my names but I liked the sound of that.

“Whatever you say Sparks” I wink at her and she smiles so sweetly and innocently it gets me to smile. Her smile was so beautiful yet so deadly and contagious it was hard to just see it as a normal thing. Don’t you fucking dare take Sparks’ smile for granted.

“Great, now give me the hand” she stretches out her hand again and I sigh. We were still seated in my room from earlier and after having a long moment of weakness with Sparks, I felt a bit light at the moment. What amazes me is she didn’t judge me, ask any questions nor see me any differently.

Other than the few times she seemed to be trying to study me so hard, everything else seemed normal. Knowing her she would ask questions soon though. She was waiting for the right time, and this gave me a little anxiety not knowing what time she was going to ask THE question and how she would phrase it. At this point I knew I couldn’t escape it and I would have to fucking tell her, but how would I without making myself look like some pathetic loser?

“What did you do? Your knuckles look so sore” she moves closer to me crossing her legs like I had done her eyes not leaving my knuckles.

“You should see the other guy” I reply smugly knowing perfectly well my door is not wounded.

“So you got into a fight?” she looks up at me and I refuse to make eye contact with her.

“Are you going to let me go smoke?” I ask.

“No” she quickly shoots back.

“Then no” I close my eyes pleased with my answer.

“Ugh, you’re such an idiot” she shoves me back roughly by the shoulder and I let myself fall on my back and laugh.

“Just let me go smoke, only for a minute, I promise you won’t miss me” I mutter staring at the ceiling.

“No, we’re staying sober tonight” she says and I sit back up and smile at her waving my eyebrows.

“So you’re staying with me tonight?” I ask.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” she raises a brow back and I move a bit closer to her face studying her beautiful caramel eyes.

“Are you going to act like my mother and not let me smoke?” I ask.

“Of course I am” she says looking back at my sad, dark eyes.

“Then hell yeah” I whisper and we just stay in silence looking into each others eyes. It was pretty hard to ignore the tension between us but we were both doing a good job keeping our hands to ourselves. I mean we had been seated in bed for hours and no one had tried anything.

“I think we agree that I should go get the first aid kit and some ice for your hand” she says her eyes never leaving mine and I nod knowing it’s for the best she gets away from me.

She gets up and fixes her shirt causing my eyes to trail down to her chest. She was wearing a pretty tight shirt today so it exposed her tits pretty well. Sigh, we already established that I can’t stop looking, lay off already.

“Don’t look at me like that” she warns me and I look back up at her and smile innocently.

“I’m not going to apologize your boobs were the ones staring at my eyes not the other way around” I defend and she rolls her eyes.

“Were you already high before I got here cause you definitely sound that dumb” she says and I lay back on my back still looking at her.

“The question is, when am I never high?” I wave my eyebrows at her and she sighs in fatigue.

“Kit is in the bathroom right?” she asks and I nod smiling at her cute reaction. I let my eyes follow her and in this moment I think to myself, damn her ass looks amazing in those shorts, so thick and….. there.

“Hey” I call to her as she opens the door that I slammed shut earlier, she looks back at me raising her eyebrows in concern. “You have something on your ass” I point out.

“What?” she asks, trying to look at her own ass and I smile… She fell right into it.

“My eyes” I wave my eyebrows at her again laughing and she looks up at me a cute frown on her face. She flips me off then opens the door and walks to go find the kit.

I know this is about to sound stupid but have you ever felt like yourself when with a particular person, just at peace and content with who you are though you don’t even know who you are, though she doesn’t know who you are. That’s how it felt to be around Sparks, it felt weird, like there was no pressure to act all tough and okay, that she would accept me no matter how I came, and that was stupid because she didn’t even know the real me, but did I know the real me?

“Don’t think too much it’s not healthy” I raise my head and look up when I hear Sparks’ voice, she shuts the door and walks towards me the kit and a pack of ice in her hands and I sit up as she sits on the bed placing the kit beside her. “What’s on your mind?” she asks streching her hand gesturing for me to give her mine.

“Can I be honest?” I ask her moving closer to sit on the edge of the bed like she had.

“Of course” she nods and I crack a smile.

“That ass” I laugh as she slaps my arm. “What? You asked for honesty” I chuckle and I think I see a small smile on her lips as I place my hand in hers. And just like the first time she did this, her hand felt so warm and soft… So welcoming.

“Ow! Fucking hell” and just like the first time, it hurt like hell.

“Maybe don’t pick a fight with the door next time” she says and my eyes widen. How the fuck did she know?

“What do you mean the door ?” I ask and she continues rubbing the pack against my swollen knuckles.

“It’s pretty obvious… You were in no mood to make human interactions last night, so what else could it be?” she looks up at me. Damn she’s smart, it pisses me off.

“Shut up” I tell her lacking words and she chuckles.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I’m right…” she laughs “which door was it?”. Her series of laughter were so cute they got me to smile.

“The front door” I answer quietly and she laughs harder.

“Holy shit, why?” she goes on.

“It wouldn’t open” I shrug watching her head bobbing as she laughs like some crazy person.

“And that made it open?” she asks and at this point she had mocked me enough.

“Shut up” I mumble feeling a bit stupid as I watch her move the pack in a circular motion. I wince “Fuck, just place the thing over the hand, stop rubbing it you sadist”. This girl really had beef with me “ahh stop it!” I slap her hand when she continues.

“Okay… okay” she says and lifts the pack to stare at my now pale fingers and red knuckles. “Next time use a bloody key” she winces and I roll my eyes, enough of that joke.

“Yeah yeah… Just be gentle” I say and she cracks a smile and looks up at me.

“Did you ever think you’d be the first one to tell me those words?” she asks and before I can catch on to what she was saying she’s already laughing again.

“Look at you having perverted thoughts” I chuckle.

“Well I am siting next to a pervert so…” she says and I laugh again bumping her shoulder with mine.

“I’m glad you’re learning” I carry on the joke and we both laugh before the room falls into silence suddenly. We sit in silence for a minute or so and you know how you can feel when you’ve done something wrong and your parent is about to start scolding you. I saw it coming, I felt Sparks take a deep breath next to me as if preparing herself for something really big, I felt her tense up and I could imagine the conflict she was having inside her. To ask about the ex or not to? I knew this moment would come and I was willing to make it easier for her and finish up with this topic quick.

“That was the ex I once told you about and told you no one likes to talk about them” I start the conversation awkwardly and hear her sigh. She moves back a bit and rests one of her legs on the bed placing my wounded hand on her lap and faces me. This was her gesturing for me to tell her more. I would, not because she wanted me to, but because I was comfortable with her having this information now. Because I knew she cared.

“Mmhm” she pushes me to go on.

“Hayley Voldemort” even saying her name pains. “She was everything I could ask for… She had the brains, the sass, the confidence, dominance, and as you saw beauty”. I allow myself to drift back to the days “she was two years older than me and when we met I hadn’t even discovered my sexuality yet. So you can say she found me when I was pretty dumb and innocent… She however knew what she wanted. I had never had any feelings for anyone, not that strong, I was literally a kid and then she came” I sigh. “I mean Nick had already got me to try out smoking but Hayley got me into it…” I recall her blowing the smoke on my face and smiling at me asking if I wanted to try, I couldn’t say no to her obviously. “She got me into drinking”. I smile recalling as we snuck alcohol into school “let me explore her body and taught me where women liked or didn’t like to be touched” I laugh when I look at Sparks and find a disturbed look on her face. “It was all bullshit though, she was only training me to touch her, that crazy selfish bitch” I spit shaking my head.

I inhale and exhale, pushing my hair back with my other hand as I go on. “She taught me something important though- that feet weren’t the only things that could help you run from your problems. She was always there… to feed me with bullshit on how she was the only one that cared for me and it would remain that way, she never missed a chance to remind me that we were all we had” I chuckle bitterly. “I enjoyed that attention because she made me feel loved and wanted, she gave me a home, a safe place, I had none of that coming from an abusive father who expected too much from me”. I groan sighing and feeling the emotions weigh heavy on me. Sparks doesn’t rush me though, she sits there silently just staring at me as I take my time trying to push the lump back down my throat. “She was all I had… I loved her and I believed her words, I believed that she loved me” I explain exhaling deeply.

I look back at Flame again who now looks pained. “And then what?” she asks her voice barely audible.

“And then what…” I repeat her words and smile at her. “And then out of nowhere she broke up with me, didn’t give me a reason, just sent me a bitter text message on how I needed to stay away from her” I laugh. “I obviously didn’t take that seriously because she loved me, she would never let me go and Hayley being Hayley let me go back anytime she felt like it… Whenever she felt insecure or needed someone to cry to, she would let my vulnerable self find comfort in fucking her and just being next to her but if she didn’t need me, ooh trust me Sparks she wouldn’t be caught lying dead next to poor Alison”.

I look at Sparks again, she isn’t even looking at me anymore “Oh it gets better” I laugh. “Poor little Alison being the pathetic little bitch she was, kept begging for Hayley’s love, kept reminding her that she loved her…” I scoff before going on. “It was on a Friday night, I had failed on a task Nik had given me and almost got caught, Nik was so mad and this time it led to the stitches on my neck” I explain recalling how Nik literally threw a knife at me that sick fuck.

“What’d he do?” Sparks interrupts me to ask.

“Threw a knife at me no big deal” I shrug and watch as Sparks’ eyes move to my neck looking at the scar there before looking back at me. “I got stiches I’m fine” I assure her when I notice the sad look on her face. “So, yeah… As usual when Alison had a problem, she would sneak out and go to Hayley’s and I did just that after getting my stitches done that night. But damn, I wish I had stayed back home and let Nick murder my ass” I chuckle, and Sparks clatches the ice pack in her hand. “Calm down, the best part is coming…” I point her a small smile on my lips.

“What’d she do?” Sparks asks avoiding eye contact with me again and I sigh recalling the amazing events again.

“I went to her place, knocked a few times and got no answer. But lucky for little Ali, the door was open, so I got in… Walked up the stairs ready to at least get a bit of comfort from my so called ex… I was all up in my head, didn’t notice that something was off, next thing I know I’m opening the door and whoa… Hayley… naked with one of my friends, Zyon. On that bed of hers that I took pleasure in fucking her on almost every night… Wow, wild”. I hated how my voice cracked at the last sentence. I feet bile rise up my throat and clench my jaw, roughly clearing my throat.

“Ca-” Sparks begins but I look at her my eyes dark.

“Oh, it gets better” I speak my voice suddenly heavy with emotions. “Alison that pathetic little kid couldn’t move, yes, she stood right there feet glued by the door and I can assure you Sparks it might sound weird as shit but Hayley saw me, she did, but she didn’t give a rat’s ass… She didn’t give a shit. So yes I basically watched her get fucked by my friend and she enjoyed the thought of torturing me for some reason, so she made sure it was one hell of a show for me” I chuckle rubbing my face with my free hand.

“Everyone in your life was sick” Sparks says quietly and I sigh.

“Tell me about it… I stopped talking to her since then and kept to myself, just as Nik wanted… And when I finished high school I had no reason to stay there, I had nothing at all, only me, so I ran away from Hayley, from Nik… with only Tyler and obviously had to steal a bit from Nik, my bike is the only thing I had from the past. Came here started a new… I needed this, but the universe literally said, fuck you Alison, and shit on my life… Again” I say, pulling my hand away from Sparks and rubbing my face with both my hands. Damn my right hand was ice cold.

“That’s about it” I sigh looking to my side at Sparks.

“Wow” she scoffs

“I know” I smile, it was weird because at the moment, yes I felt stupid for my past actions, the pain and humiliation was still there but no… I had no more tears, I felt a bit lighter now that Sparks knew.

“That girl is an actual bitch!” Sparks yells out of nowhere catching me off guard and my eyes widen “I mean it’s okay to break up with you, but still use you for her selfish needs after… She’s sick as fuck” Sparks explains while waving her hands wildly. “Holy shit if I knew this information yesterday…”.

“What would you have done?” I ask finding her reaction entertaining. It was so cute how her accent got stronger when she was angry making her sound polite. Politely angry.

“Why the fuck are you smiling? She’s sick” Sparks cringes “And I personally don’t think she’s that beautiful”. This got me to laugh. I loved this. Her reaction was not what I expected.

“Deadass” I chuckle but when I look at her she seems bothered, she really is living at that moment, she’s feeling what Ali felt. “It’s okay Sparks that was all in the past, and yes seeing her brought all of that back, but it was all so unexpected”.

“You didn’t deserve any of that” she frowns harder. “It isn’t fair” she says and I sigh.

“It is, because now I have Drew, I have Austin, they’re like my family and I have you to clean my wounds and be there for me… I have people who really care for me and I wouldn’t have it differently” I explain surprised where those words came from. Was I secretly smart and a person with a big fluffy heart?

“I really do care for you, you know that don’t you? I would never fuck with your emotions like that” she shakes her head and it’s my turn to place my hand on hers.

“You don’t have to tell me that, I know” I tell her and she sighs.

“I care about you a lot… And it’s shocking how much” she cups my cheek and I personally love that feeling. “I like you so much” she shakes her head as if she cant believe what she’s saying. I know I didn’t. “And I don’t like to see you hurting, not because of that stupid bitch, she isn-“.

“Can we talk about how I like you just as much and forget about that bitch for a minute?” I interrupt her without putting much thought to my wording. But wasn’t it fucking obvious by now? I liked this beautiful girl, everything about her. And most importantly I liked that she liked me even after knowing all this. She didn’t think of me as the pathetic bitch I thought I was.

she smiles “I didn’t-” but by now you know me and how I feel about sparks’ lips. I kiss her again for the second time today and it feels even better than the first time because this time it’s her I’m thinking of, only her. I pull her closer, we get lost in the kiss, and before I know it Sparks is pushing the kit and ice pack off my bed letting them fall to the floor and I’m lying on my back her straddling me.

“I guess she isn’t important right now” Sparks breathes once she breaks from the kiss.

“As I said, no one likes to talk about her” I add sitting up to help pull Sparks’ shirt over her head.

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And they lived happily ever after… THE END. I’m glad we made it this far…

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