Chapter 12

Chapter 2

Daniela woke up feeling slightly less like she was dying.

Which was nice.

A definite improvement.

The fever was mostly gone.

Her head still hurt.

Her throat still felt terrible.

But at least she could sit up without feeling like the room was spinning.

Progress.

She slowly made her way downstairs.

Wrapped in a hoodie.

Hair still in the braid.

The braid.

For some reason her hand immediately reached for it.

She remembered waking up briefly.

Remembered Nevaeh being there.

Or…

She thought she remembered.

Honestly, the last few days felt blurry.

Like a weird fever dream.

The smell of food pulled her toward the kitchen.

Kai was standing at the stove.

Making breakfast.

Or attempting to.

The results were questionable.

“Morning.”

Daniela sat down.

“Morning.”

Kai glanced at her.

“You look terrible.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

For a while they ate in silence.

Then Daniela casually asked:

“Did you come upstairs yesterday?”

Kai looked confused.

“No.”

Daniela frowned.

“What?”

“No.”

He took another bite.

“Why?”

Daniela stared at him.

Slowly.

Very slowly.

Then who—

“Oh.”

Kai froze.

A grin immediately appearing.

The worst possible sign.

“No.”

“What?”

“No.”

“What?”

“That face.”

“What face?”

“The face you’re making.”

Kai looked delighted.

Which was suspicious.

Very suspicious.

Finally he said:

“Nevaeh came by.”

Daniela blinked.

Once.

Twice.

“…What?”

“Yeah.”

Daniela stared at him.

Waiting for the joke.

The punchline.

Something.

Nothing came.

“Nevaeh?”

“Last time I checked.”

“No.”

Kai laughed.

“Yes.”

Daniela sat there.

Completely still.

Because suddenly a bunch of things started making sense.

The water.

The medicine.

The blanket.

The braid.

The braid.

Her hand immediately touched it again.

Kai noticed.

Unfortunately.

“Oh my God.”

“Stop.”

“Oh my God.”

“Stop.”

“You’re touching the braid.”

Daniela wanted to launch her spoon at him.

Immediately.

Instead she ignored him.

Mostly.

“How long was she here?”

Kai shrugged.

“A while.”

“A while?”

“Like two hours.”

Daniela nearly choked.

“Two hours?”

“Maybe more.”

“What?”

Kai looked completely unconcerned.

Like this information wasn’t life-altering.

Meanwhile Daniela’s brain was malfunctioning.

Two hours.

Nevaeh stayed for two hours.

Not ten minutes.

Not dropping something off.

Not saying hi.

Two hours.

Why?

The question immediately attached itself to her brain.

And refused to leave.

The rest of the day didn’t help.

Because every time Daniela tried not to think about it—

Something reminded her.

The medicine on the nightstand.

The water bottle.

The braid.

Especially the braid.

By the afternoon she had taken it out.

Then spent ten whole minutes staring at it in the mirror.

Not because of the braid.

Obviously.

Because of who had done it.

Which was different.

Totally different.

Probably.

Daniela groaned and dropped onto her bed.

This was ridiculous.

Nevaeh hated her.

Or at least strongly disliked her.

They’d literally fought.

Things were still awkward.

So why had she stayed?

Why had she brought medicine?

Why had she adjusted the blanket?

Why had she listened when Daniela asked her not to leave?

The thought made her stomach do something strange.

Daniela immediately sat up.

“No.”

The empty room offered no response.

“Absolutely not.”

Because she knew where her brain was trying to go.

And she was not going there.

Nevaeh was just being nice.

That was it.

A decent person helping a sick friend.

Well.

Not friend.

Acquaintance.

Enemy?

Whatever they were.

The point was:

It meant nothing.

Right?

Daniela flopped back onto her pillow.

Staring at the ceiling.

Five minutes passed.

Then ten.

Then fifteen.

And despite all her efforts—

She still couldn’t stop thinking about Nevaeh.

Not the annoying version.

Not the sarcastic version.

Not the version that drove her insane.

The version that sat beside her bed.

The version that fixed her blanket.

The version that stayed.

And somehow…

That version was a lot harder to forget.

A few days later, Daniela was officially better.

Mostly.

The fever was gone.

Her energy was back.

And she was finally back at rehearsal.

Which should’ve been a good thing.

Should’ve.

Instead, Daniela had a problem.

A very specific problem.

A very annoying problem.

A problem named Nevaeh.

Not that she’d ever admit it.

The music started.

The choreography began.

The girls moved into position.

Everything was normal.

Everything was familiar.

Everything was—

“Daniela.”

Daniela blinked.

“What?”

The music had stopped.

Everyone was looking at her.

“…Why are you all staring at me?”

One of the girls pointed.

“You went the wrong way.”

Daniela frowned.

“No I didn’t.”

“You absolutely did.”

“…Oh.”

The room erupted into laughter.

Daniela groaned.

“Again.”

The music restarted.

This time she focused.

Actually focused.

For almost three entire minutes.

Which was a new record.

Then her brain betrayed her again.

For absolutely no reason—

She remembered Nevaeh fixing the blanket.

Daniela missed a step.

“Daniela!”

“Oh my God.”

“WHERE ARE YOU?”

“I KNOW WHERE I AM.”

“APPARENTLY NOT.”

More laughter.

Daniela wanted the floor to swallow her.

Immediately.

This was ridiculous.

Actually ridiculous.

She was at rehearsal.

Working.

Practicing.

Being productive.

Why was she thinking about Nevaeh?

It didn’t even make sense.

She tried again.

The next song started.

Focus.

Count.

Move.

Turn.

And—

Nevaeh’s laugh.

Daniela stumbled.

The entire group stopped.

Again.

Sophia stared at her.

Concerned.

“Genuine question.”

Daniela already knew she wasn’t going to like this.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“You’ve been staring into space for forty minutes.”

Daniela opened her mouth.

Closed it.

Opened it again.

“…I’m tired.”

The room immediately booed.

“LIAR.”

“THAT’S A LIE.”

“BOOOOO.”

Daniela buried her face in her hands.

Because unfortunately…

They were right.

She wasn’t tired.

She was distracted.

And the worst part?

She didn’t even know why.

Well.

Okay.

Maybe she knew why.

She just didn’t know WHY why.

Because every time she thought about Nevaeh—

Her brain immediately came back to the same thing.

She stayed.

That stupid thought.

Over and over.

She stayed.

Nobody told her to.

Nobody made her.

She just…

Stayed.

The more Daniela thought about it, the less she understood it.

And the less she understood it—

The more she thought about it.

It was a horrible cycle.

A truly awful cycle.

During lunch, Daniela sat alone for exactly thirty seconds before pulling out her phone.

Not intentionally.

It just happened.

One second she was eating.

The next she was staring at the group chat.

Her thumb hovered over Nevaeh’s name.

Immediately she locked her phone.

Absolutely not.

What was she even supposed to say?

“Hey thanks for not letting me die?”

Terrible.

Awful.

Embarrassing.

She unlocked the phone again.

Stared.

Locked it.

Unlocked it.

Locked it.

Unlocked—

“WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

Daniela nearly launched the phone across the room.

Manon sat down beside her.

Suspicious.

Very suspicious.

“Nobody.”

“Mhm.”

“Nobody.”

“Mhm.”

Daniela looked away.

Immediately.

Which unfortunately made her look guiltier.

Not that she was guilty.

Because there was nothing to be guilty about.

She wasn’t texting Nevaeh.

She wasn’t even talking to Nevaeh.

She just couldn’t stop thinking about her.

And somehow…

That felt worse.

Because Daniela had spent years understanding herself.

Understanding her emotions.

Understanding people.

But this?

This made absolutely no sense.

All she knew was that every time she tried to focus—

Every time she tried to move on—

Every time she tried not to think about Nevaeh—

She failed.

Spectacularly.

And somewhere in California…

Completely unaware of the chaos she was causing…

Nevaeh was probably having a perfectly normal day.

By the time rehearsal ended, Daniela was exhausted.

Not physically.

Mentally.

Which was somehow worse.

Because no matter what she’d done all day, Nevaeh had found a way into her thoughts.

Every. Single. Time.

At this point Daniela was genuinely annoyed.

Annoyed at Nevaeh.

Annoyed at herself.

Annoyed at the universe.

Just annoyed.

She got home a bit later then the other girls.

Once she did come home tho, tossed her bag onto the floor, and immediately headed toward Manon’s room.

She didn’t knock.

Mostly because she never knocked.

She pushed the door open.

“Can I—”

Daniela stopped.

Immediately.

Manon was lying across the bed.

Isabella was next to her. 

Her head on Manon’s chest and her palm flat against Manon’s stomach.

The two of them looked disgustingly happy.

Daniela grimaced.

“Ew.”

“Hello to you too,” Isabella said.

Daniela pointed.

“Whatever this is, stop.”

Manon looked offended.

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Think of the children.”

“There are no children here.”

“There could be.”

“Leave.”

Daniela flopped dramatically onto the end of the bed.

“I hate both of you.”

“What’s wrong?” Isabella asked.

“Nothing.”

Manon and Isabella immediately exchanged a look.

The look.

The one that said:

Something is for sure wrong.

Daniela groaned.

“Fine.”

“Ah.”

“There it is.”

Daniela sat up.

Pointing at both of them.

“Before I say anything, neither of you are allowed to make weird faces.”

Immediately they made weird faces.

“I hate you.”

“We know.”

Daniela sighed.

Then sighed again.

Then a third time.

“Nevaeh is annoying.”

Silence.

Manon nodded slowly.

“Okay.”

“Like genuinely annoying.”

“Okay.”

“Like actually.”

“Okay.”

Daniela narrowed her eyes.

“Why are you both looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like that.”

Neither answered.

Which was suspicious.

Very suspicious.

Daniela ignored it.

“Anyway.”

She crossed her arms.

“I was sick.”

“Yes.”

“And apparently she came over.”

Manon nodded.

“Okay.”

“And stayed.”

“Okay.”

“For hours.”

“Okay.”

Daniela threw her hands into the air.

“WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING OKAY?”

“Because I’m listening.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am.”

“No.”

“Continue.”

Daniela groaned.

Then continued.

Because apparently she really needed to get this out.

“She brought medicine.”

“Hm.”

“Fixed my blanket.”

“Hm.”

“Braided my hair.”

“Hm.”

“Stayed when she literally didn’t have to.”

“Hm.”

Isabella had stopped looking at Daniela.

Instead she was staring at Manon.

Manon was staring at Isabella.

Both of them were trying very hard not to smile.

Daniela didn’t notice.

“AND NOW I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.”

The room went quiet.

Manon blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Then:

“You can’t stop thinking about what?”

Daniela rolled her eyes.

“The situation.”

“Hm.”

“The fact she stayed.”

“Hm.”

“The whole thing.”

“Hm.”

Daniela pointed.

“STOP DOING THAT.”

At this point Isabella physically had to look away.

Because she was about three seconds away from laughing.

Daniela continued.

Oblivious.

Completely oblivious.

“And it’s not even like I LIKE her.”

Manon bit the inside of her cheek.

Hard.

“Oh?”

“I don’t.”

“Of course.”

“I don’t.”

“Obviously.”

Daniela looked between them.

Suspicion slowly growing.

“Why are you agreeing with me like that?”

“Like what?”

“LIKE THAT.”

Neither answered.

Because if either of them opened their mouths right now, they were going to start laughing.

Daniela sighed dramatically.

“You guys are useless.”

Then she stood.

“I’m leaving.”

“Okay.”

Daniela pointed at them one last time.

“I wasn’t talking about her because I like her.”

The second the door closed—

Silence.

Two seconds.

Three.

Then Isabella buried her face in Manon’s chest.

“Oh my God.”

Manon immediately collapsed laughing.

“She is so gone.”

“SO gone.”

“She’s cooked.”

“Burnt.”

“Charred.”

Meanwhile, halfway down the hallway—

Daniela was still muttering to herself.

“I don’t even like her.”

Because unfortunately for Daniela…

Nobody believed that anymore.

Except Daniela.

Daniela lasted exactly two more hours.

Two.

That was it.

After thinking about Nevaeh while eating, while practicing, while showering, while trying to sleep, while watching TV, while literally doing nothing—

She snapped.

She marched down the hallway.

Opened Manon’s bedroom door without knocking.

Again.

And immediately regretted it.

“Ew.”

Manon was sitting on the bed.

Isabella practically in her lap.

Daniela turned around.

“Nope.”

“Too late,” Isabella said.

Daniela covered her eyes.

“I saw nothing.”

“You definitely saw something.”

“I wish I didn’t.”

Manon laughed and pulled Isabella closer.

Daniela physically recoiled.

“Oh my God.”

“What?”

“You two are disgusting.”

Manon kissed Isabella’s cheek.

Daniela made a dying noise.

Then Isabella kissed Manon’s jaw.

Daniela looked toward the ceiling.

“Take me now.”

“The drama.”

“The TRAUMA.”

Manon laughed.

“Why are you here?”

Daniela immediately pointed.

“I need help.”

That got their attention.

Because Daniela never asked for help.

Ever.

Manon sat up slightly.

“Okay.”

Daniela paced once.

Twice.

Three times.

Then finally stopped.

“How do I stop thinking about someone?”

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Manon looked at Isabella.

Isabella looked at Manon.

Then both slowly looked back at Daniela.

Daniela immediately pointed.

“DON’T.”

“Don’t what?”

“That look.”

“What look?”

“THAT LOOK.”

The look got worse.

Daniela groaned.

“I’m serious.”

“So are we.”

“No you’re not.”

“We are.”

Daniela dropped dramatically into a chair.

“I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Manon blinked.

“HER?”

Daniela froze.

“…”

“…”

“…I walked right into that.”

“Yes.”

“Shut up.”

Isabella was trying so hard not to laugh.

Daniela buried her face in her hands.

“This is awful.”

“What’s awful?”

“The fact that she’s in my head all the time.”

Manon tilted her head.

“All the time?”

Daniela immediately regretted speaking.

“Not all the time.”

“Hm.”

“Most of the time.”

“Hm.”

“STOP DOING THAT.”

Manon was smiling now.

A dangerous sign.

“What exactly are you thinking about?”

Daniela opened her mouth.

Closed it.

Opened it again.

“The sick thing.”

“The sick thing.”

“Yes.”

“The one where she stayed.”

“Yes.”

“The one you’ve been talking about for days.”

“YES.”

Isabella looked away because she was losing the battle.

Daniela noticed.

“Why are you smiling?”

“I’m not.”

“You literally are.”

“I’m literally not.”

Daniela pointed at both of them.

“Something is wrong with you.”

“No,” Manon said.

“Something is wrong with you.”

Daniela gasped.

“Wow.”

“I’m serious.”

Daniela threw herself back into the chair.

“I don’t understand.”

And for the first time, she sounded genuinely frustrated.

Not dramatic.

Not joking.

Actually frustrated.

“Why do I keep thinking about it?”

The room got quieter.

Because now she sounded confused.

Not defensive.

Confused.

Daniela stared at the floor.

“I mean…”

She rubbed her forehead.

“It shouldn’t matter this much.”

Manon exchanged another glance with Isabella.

A softer one this time.

Because now they could see it.

Daniela wasn’t asking because she knew the answer.

She was asking because she genuinely didn’t.

“She was nice to me.”

Daniela laughed once.

A little awkwardly.

“That’s all.”

Manon stayed quiet.

Daniela continued.

“People are nice to me all the time.”

“Okay.”

“So why does this one feel different?”

The question slipped out before she could stop it.

And the second it did—

The room went silent.

Daniela froze.

Manon froze.

Isabella froze.

Everyone froze.

Because Daniela had accidentally asked the real question.

The actual question.

Not:

Why am I thinking about Nevaeh?

But:

Why does Nevaeh feel different?

Daniela immediately stood up.

“Nope.”

Manon laughed.

“Nope.”

“Daniela.”

“Nope.”

“Daniela.”

“Absolutely not.”

She started backing toward the door.

“I don’t like where this conversation is going.”

Manon was laughing now.

“Where do you think it’s going?”

“I’M LEAVING.”

And before either of them could say another word—

Daniela escaped.

The door slammed.

Silence.

Then Isabella looked at Manon.

Manon looked at Isabella.

And at exactly the same time they said:

“She’s doomed.”

Before immediately dissolving into laughter.

A few days later, Daniela had a problem.

Actually, scratch that.

Daniela had several problems.

The biggest one being that she couldn’t stop thinking about Nevaeh.

The second biggest one being that everybody seemed to know.

She was lying face-down on her bed.

Phone tossed somewhere beside her.

Music playing quietly in the background.

Staring dramatically into her pillow.

This had become a regular activity.

Because every time she tried not to think about Nevaeh…

She somehow ended up thinking about her more.

It was torture.

A knock sounded.

Daniela ignored it.

The door opened anyway.

“Hey.”

Daniela groaned.

“Go away.”

“No.”

That was Lara.

A second later, Manon appeared behind her.

“Absolutely not.”

Daniela sat up immediately.

“Oh my God.”

“What?”

“Why are both of you here?”

Manon and Lara exchanged a look.

Daniela immediately pointed.

“THAT.”

“What?”

“STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER.”

Lara walked inside.

“No.”

Manon sat down at the end of the bed.

“No.”

Daniela knew she was in trouble.

Because when one person came to talk to her?

Fine.

When TWO people came?

Intervention.

Definitely intervention.

“I’m leaving.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am.”

“No.”

Daniela looked toward the door.

Unfortunately Lara was standing in front of it.

Traitor.

“Guys.”

“No.”

“Guys.”

“No.”

Daniela threw herself backward dramatically.

“I hate everyone.”

“We know.”

Silence.

Then Lara spoke.

“You’re miserable.”

Daniela looked offended.

“Wow.”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m not miserable.”

“You’ve stared at the same wall for ten minutes.”

“…”

“Yesterday you walked into the wrong room.”

“…”

“You called me Nevaeh.”

Daniela sat up so fast she nearly fell off the bed.

“I DID NOT.”

“You did.”

Manon immediately started laughing.

Daniela wanted to evaporate.

Immediately.

“Okay.”

Lara crossed her arms.

“Let’s talk.”

“No.”

“Let’s.”

“No.”

“Daniela.”

“No.”

Manon sighed.

“Why are you fighting this so hard?”

“Because there’s nothing to fight.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Lara raised an eyebrow.

“Then why are you acting like someone stole your sanity?”

Daniela opened her mouth.

Closed it.

Opened it again.

Nothing came out.

Because unfortunately…

She didn’t know.

And that was the problem.

The room became quieter.

Less teasing now.

More serious.

Lara sat beside her.

“Can I tell you something?”

Daniela immediately looked suspicious.

“No.”

“I’m gonna do it anyway.”

Daniela groaned.

Lara continued.

“The more you try to push feelings away…”

Daniela froze.

Immediately.

“…the louder they get.”

The room felt strangely still.

Because Daniela knew exactly what Lara was talking about.

Even if she didn’t want to.

“You keep trying not to think about her.”

Daniela looked away.

Lara noticed.

Of course she noticed.

“And now it’s all you think about.”

Daniela hated how accurate that was.

Manon nodded.

“You don’t have to figure everything out right now.”

“Good.”

“Because you’re clearly failing.”

“MANON.”

Lara laughed.

Then continued.

“What if you just…”

She shrugged.

“…let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling?”

Daniela frowned.

“That sounds terrible.”

“It sounds healthy.”

“It sounds awful.”

“It sounds healthy.”

Daniela flopped back onto the mattress.

She stared at the ceiling.

Thinking.

Dangerous.

Very dangerous.

“What if I don’t know what I’m feeling?”

The question came out quieter.

Realer.

For once.

Manon and Lara exchanged another glance.

Not a teasing one this time.

A softer one.

Because that was the first honest thing Daniela had said all conversation.

Lara smiled slightly.

“Then stop trying to name it.”

Daniela looked over.

“What?”

“You don’t have to know.”

Daniela blinked.

Lara continued.

“You don’t need an answer today.”

“You don’t need an answer tomorrow.”

“You just need to stop running from the question.”

Silence.

Daniela looked back at the ceiling.

For the first time in weeks…

That actually sounded possible.

Not figuring everything out.

Just…

Not fighting it.

Not panicking every time Nevaeh crossed her mind.

Not acting like the world was ending because she cared.

Because maybe caring wasn’t the scary part.

Maybe the scary part was how hard she’d been trying not to.

The room was quiet.

Then Manon smiled.

“So.”

Daniela immediately knew she wasn’t going to like what came next.

“So what?”

Manon’s grin widened.

“When are you seeing Nevaeh again?”

Daniela grabbed a pillow.

And launched it directly at her face.

The scream that followed could probably be heard from outside the house.

The room was quiet again.

Too quiet.

Daniela stared at the ceiling.

The conversation with Manon and Lara replaying in her head.

Over.

And over.

And over.

Eventually she groaned.

Pulled a pillow over her face.

And immediately regretted it because now she couldn’t breathe.

She threw it across the room.

Nothing changed.

Nevaeh was still there.

Not physically.

Obviously.

In her head.

Which was somehow worse.

Daniela rolled onto her side.

Staring at the wall.

What was she feeling?

That was the question, wasn’t it?

Because everybody seemed to think they knew.

Manon.

Lara.

Isabella.

Probably Kai.

Maybe even Nevaeh.

The thought made Daniela sit up immediately.

No.

Definitely not Nevaeh.

Nevaeh barely knew what Daniela was thinking on a good day.

Daniela sighed.

Then tried something she hadn’t done before.

Honesty.

Real honesty.

Not the kind she gave other people.

The kind she gave herself.

Okay.

Truth number one:

She liked being around Nevaeh.

The realization was immediate.

Simple.

Undeniable.

Even when they argued.

Even when they annoyed each other.

Even when Nevaeh rolled her eyes so hard Daniela thought they might get stuck.

Being around her was fun.

More fun than Daniela had wanted to admit.

Truth number two:

The awkward phase sucked.

Daniela frowned.

Because she hadn’t missed Nevaeh.

Not exactly.

She’d missed…

Something.

Their conversations.

Their banter.

The way they could somehow turn absolutely anything into an argument.

Movie nights weren’t the same.

Beach trips weren’t the same.

Even Kai’s house felt different.

Like something was missing.

And Daniela hated that.

Truth number three:

Seeing Nevaeh upset had hurt.

A lot.

More than it should have.

The memory of the apartment came back instantly.

Nevaeh standing there.

Looking exhausted.

Looking angry.

Looking like she was carrying something heavy.

Daniela swallowed.

Because that was the moment everything had started changing.

Before that, Nevaeh had been easy.

Annoying.

Difficult.

Impossible.

After that…

She became human.

And that somehow made everything harder.

Truth number four:

The sick thing mattered.

A lot.

Daniela pulled her knees to her chest.

Because no matter how many times she replayed it—

She still couldn’t understand it.

Nevaeh stayed.

Not because she had to.

Because she wanted to.

The thought settled heavily in her chest.

Daniela closed her eyes.

And for the first time…

Instead of pushing the thought away—

She let it stay.

Just for a moment.

Nevaeh sitting beside her bed.

Braiding her hair.

Fixing the blanket.

Telling her she wasn’t leaving.

The memory made something warm spread through her chest.

Not butterflies.

Not fireworks.

Nothing dramatic.

Just warmth.

Comfort.

Safety.

And that realization scared her a little.

Because Daniela couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her feel like that.

The room felt very still.

And then…

The thought arrived.

Not a realization.

Not yet.

Just a question.

One Daniela couldn’t answer.

A question she wasn’t ready to answer.

But it came anyway.

If Nevaeh walked into this room right now…

Would Daniela be happy?

The answer appeared immediately.

Without hesitation.

Without thought.

Yes.

Daniela froze.

The honesty of it shocked her.

Because she hadn’t needed to think.

She’d just known.

And maybe…

That was what scared her most.

Unfortunately…

One final thought slipped through anyway.

Soft.

Quiet.

Almost impossible to stop.

When was the next time she was going to see Nevaeh?