Chapter 30

𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗

I let out a groan as I fixed my bonnet, my other hand scratchin’ my abdomen as I walked down the stairs. “What is it?” I yawned, my eyes barely open as I squinted from the bright sun shinin’ through the big windows.

“A father can’t have breakfast with his child?” He set another plate down and I hummed, walkin’ over and tuggin’ the chair out with another quick yawn.

“Where’s Aries?” I asked and he pointed to the entrance with his thumb.

“Left a couple hours ago. I made her take another break.”

My eyes widened immediately.

“What?” I sat down, brows furrowing. “Why?”

“Because I want some time with my daughter.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Alone.”

I rolled my eyes, pouring syrup over the waffles in front of me.

“Okay..? What are we doin’ today?”

He shrugged while scrollin’ through his phone. “Well?” he glanced up briefly. “What do you wanna do?”

“We haven’t been to the movies in a while…” I trailed off. “Like, since I was a kid…”

He paused, then he let out a slow breath and nodded. “We’ll do dinner after.”

I hummed and went back to eating, but my brain was somewhere else.

Aries stayed the night last night. Usually when my dad was around, she made herself scarce. Not because she was scared of him or anything. More because the two of them had some weird ass understanding where they constantly got on each other’s nerves while simultaneously respectin’ each other.

It was strange—like watchin’ two guard dogs argue over who was guarding better. Still…After everything yesterday? After the fight, the cooking class, the apology, the almost kiss before Chef Homewrecker interrupted us?

I figured she’d still be here when I woke up. Maybe stretched out on the couch, maybe looking fine for absolutely no reason while making coffee. Instead she’d been kicked out the house hours ago.

And honestly? I kinda missed her. But just a lil’. Like a microscopic amount…a very embarrassing amount.

The rest of breakfast went surprisingly smooth, no business talk, no upcomin’ meetings, no discussions about partnerships and no random lecture about networking.

Just breakfast. Me and my dad, like old times.

Afterward I headed upstairs and changed into some biker shorts under some sweats and a cropped shirt.

As I pulled my shoes on, I found myself thinking about what my dad said. Because something wasn’t adding up.

We hadn’t spent genuine father-daughter time together in years.

Not real quality time. Not movie nights. Not random shopping trips. Not trying weird food spots because one of us saw it online.

Absolutely nothing.

Nowadays our interactions mostly revolved around business, events, meetings, retreats, and introductions.

At some point I started feeling less like his daughter and more like an assistant that occasionally shared his last name.

Which was exactly why this whole thing felt weird. This man voluntarily sent Aries away, cleared his schedule, made breakfast, agreed to a movie, and wanted dinner after??

I stared at myself in the mirror for a second. Then my eyes narrowed. “Hollon.”

“He sick, ain’t he.” The thought hit me so hard I immediately grabbed my phone.

Because if this man started talking about legacy, family bonds, or how proud he was of me today?

I was calling Aries immediately. Matter of fact, I’m callin’ a doctor first.

I made my way downstairs, my brows furrowed as he waited by the door just scrolling through his phone.

“Is you dying?” I blurted.

His head snapped up immediately.

“Child.” The sheer disappointment in that one word almost made me laugh. He stared at me blanky for a second before sucking his teeth.

“No. I just wanna spend time with you.”

I narrowed my eyes and he narrowed his right back.

Neither one of us said anything.

“Mm.”

“Mm what?” He questioned.

“Mm, okay.”

“Youn believe me.”

“Not really.” I shook my head.

He let out an irritated sigh and headed outside.

I followed behind him, still suspicious. ‘Cause ain’t no way?

After all them years of business meetings, networking events and turnin’ every family gathering into a damn seminar. Now all of a sudden he wants quality time?

I ain’t buying that shit.

The walk to the car I kept waiting for him to reveal some life-changing diagnosis. Or tell me he’d secretly gotten married. Or joined a cult. Something.

Anything!

Instead he just unlocked the car and got in. I climbed into the passenger seat and immediately started looking around.

First the cup holders, then dashboard, and lastly, the side compartment.

My face slowly fell. “You’ve gotta be shittin’ me…”

My father glanced over. “The hell is you lookin’ for?”

“Honestly?” My expression flattened. “My pride and joy. My dignity. My happiness. My emotional support snacks…”

“Okay, I get it.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, ’cause somewhere along the line I’d gotten way too comfortable in Aries’ car. There were always snacks.

One time she even had cupcakes in there, like who the fuck keeps emergency cupcakes??

But suddenly, the realization hit me like a truck.

I had become domesticated.

Now that’s disgusting….

The drive to the theater was awkward at first. We spent so many years talking about business, appearances, contracts, security, investors, and every other boring rich people topic imaginable that neither of us seemed to know what normal conversation looked like anymore.

But once we made it to the movies, I corrected the snack situation immediately. If I couldn’t raid Aries’ stash that she had for me, then I was creating my own for today.

“Londyn,” my father said while balancin’ the popcorn, my packs of candy, and my drink. “Isn’t that too much for you?”

I shrugged, holding the nachos. “I’ll give whatever I don’t finish to Aries.”

He sighed, and I’m talkin’, a deep exhausted father sigh. The kind that said he’d already lost whatever argument he was tryna win.

By the time we got seated, I was fully prepared. Drink in hand, my blanket hoodie pulled over my knees, and snacks organized. Life was good.

“This better be funny,” I muttered.

My dad shook his head and handed me my drink.

“So…” I glanced over. “You still hate horror movies, orr…?”

His face immediately twisted. “They’re stupid.”

I softly chuckled. “They’re not stupid.”

“People hear a noise in the basement and go investigate it.”

“That’s the movie.”

“That’s stupidity.”

I laughed a lil’ harder.

For the first time in a long time, he laughed too. Like, actually laughed.

The movie itself wasn’t anything special. Halfway through it, my father spent more time criticizin’ the plot than actually watchin’ it.

“This shit makes no sense.”

“Shh.”

“Why would he go back inside?”

“Shh.”

“This nigga askin’ to die, watch, watch.”

I covered my face while laughin’. “Can you please let me watch the movie?”

“No.”

By the time we left the theater, my stomach hurt from laughing and my father had been completely wrong about one thing. I demolished most of my snacks, absolutely annihilated them like I’d been stranded on an island.

The only thing I left untouched was some of the candy for Aries, because despite everything, she’d definitely steal it from me later anyway.

The sun had started to dip lower, painting everything gold. We ended up walking through a little shopping district before dinner.

For once, nobody was asking him for favors. It was just us.

We stopped near a storefront window and my father glanced at me.

“You seem happier lately, calmer, a lil’ softer too….”

The comment caught me off guard. I looked away first.

“I guess…”

“You smiling more.”

I immediately rolled my eyes. “Don’t start.”

“I’m serious.”

I shoved my hands into my pockets. The problem was I knew exactly why. And unfortunately she was six foot somethin’, tatted up, annoying, and currently not here.

My father hummed.

“Can we go eat?” I asked and he chuckled with a nod.

𐃯

Afterward we headed to a diner.

Not one of them fancy restaurants where the portions are tiny and the bill looks like a mortgage payment. A real diner. The one I’d practically grown up in.

The sight alone unlocked a hundred memories.

Late-night pancakes, chocolate milk, being small enough to swing my legs under the booth, my father sitting across from me before life got busy. Before everything became work. But the neighborhood wasn’t exactly ideal nowadays. Especially with Jalen’s name constantly floatin’ around.

But for a couple minutes I didn’t care.

“How’s Aries doing as a bodyguard?” my father asked while looking over the menu.

I immediately hid behind mine. “She doing the job right.” I murmured.

That wasn’t technically a lie, Aries was amazing at her job. The problem was she was also amazing at being my future girlfriend…Which complicated things.

“You aren’t stressing her?”

I almost choked. “More like she’s stressing me?!—” I started before quickly correcting myself. “No…”

His eyes lifted over the menu. And gave that look that meant he wasn’t buying a single thing I was selling.

“Hm.”

I pretended not to notice and a few moments later he set the menu down completely.

“I’ve been thinking about doubling security.”

“Why!?”

“Aries has been telling me Jalen’s been getting out of hand lately.”

Of course she told him…this idiot.

“Aries is enough.” I answered immediately. Too quickly, too firmly.

My father raised a brow. “Is she?”

“Yes.” I said adamantly. Because the truth was, I trusted Aries more than I trusted anybody.

With my safety. With my secrets. With everything.

“Seems like you two are gettin’ along for the most part.”

And just like that my brain betrayed me. Instantly.

A bunch of fuck ass images started playing in my head.

Of Aries pinning me against the kitchen counter, Aries kissin’ me when I was tryna stay mad. Her carryin’ me around the house because apparently walking was optional.

My face grew hot so fast.

“Mhm!!” The noise that left my mouth was embarrassingly high-pitched.

My father stared at me while I stared at the table.

“Besides that,” he asked quietly. “How you doin’, Lo?”

The warmth vanished instantly, because that question wasn’t casual. Not from him at least.

Not after everything…

The question sat between us for a second, my eyes dropping to the menu even though I wasn’t readin’ a single word on it, and for the first time all day, the silence between us felt mad heavy.

This the kind of question fathers are supposed to ask their daughters, yet somehow it felt heavier than anything we talked about all day

“I’m alright,” I said softly.

My father didn’t respond immediately, He just hummed like he knew I was full of shit.

“Londyn.”

“What?” I sighed.

“You’re not alright.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning back against the booth.

“There you go.”

“There I go what?” I raised a brow.

“Pretending.”

My jaw clenched.

“You’re doing that thing.” he crossed his arms. “The thing where you get quiet.”

I stared out the window. The diner really hadn’t changed much. Same old booths, same old lights, same old smell. For a second I could almost see a younger version of myself sitting here with him.

Back when things weren’t so complicated…

“I’ve just been stressed.” I finally admitted.

His expression softened slightly. “School?”

“Partially.”

“Jalen?” he pressed.

I hesitated and my father’s jaw tightened.

“I got it handled.” I said.

“No.” he replied firmly. “Aries has it handled.”

I opened my mouth to speak but slowly closed it then took a deep breath. “That’s different…”

“How?” He raised a brow.

Because when Aries gets hurt, it feels like somebody’s grabbing my lungs and squeezing, or when Jalen shows up, the first thing I think about is whether she’s gonna get dragged into it.

Because I still see the bruises, I still remember her bleeding. And I’m absolutely terrified one day she won’t walk back through the door.

But none of those words left my mouth. I didn’t want him to know how I really felt. How I felt about her..

Instead I picked at the edge of a napkin. “I don’t like it.” I murmured softly.

My father studied me carefully.

“No.” His voice was quieter now. “You don’t like being scared.”

That was exactly it. I hated being scared, hated feeling helpless, and hated waiting for something bad to happen.

Especially now, especially when I actually had something to lose.

The waitress brought our food over, giving me an excuse to look away.

I immediately grabbed a fry, and then another.

My father watched me for a second before shaking his head. “You still eat like that when you’re upset.”

I pointed a fry at him. “And you still analyze everything.”

My father gave me a small smile, the kinda smile that looked guilty before it even fully formed.

“I know I’m never around anymore,” He paused.

His gaze dropped to the table.

I hummed, because what was I supposed to say to that? Congratulations on noticing?

I stared at him and he looked uncomfortable, which somehow made it feel a lil’ more honest.

“I was busy building everything…” His hand motioned vaguely. “The company. The money. Opportunities.”

His eyes finally met mine.

“And somewhere along the way I convinced myself that providing for you was the same thing as being there.”

“…I wish you’d just come around more.”

The words came out smaller than I intended. My father sighed immediately, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I know, but you know I’m busy, Lo. It feels too late to go back now..”

Something in me snapped.

“Do you ever miss your ex-wife?” The question flew out before I could stop it.

My father froze, His entire posture changin’. His shoulders straightened and his face emptied.

Right then the waitress appeared back, carrying our milkshakes.

“Thank you,” he said politely and she smiled then walked away.

The second she disappeared, the silence came right back.

“I do.” He nodded once. “Yes.”

I hummed. “I miss her too…”

I knew the little girl inside me was still sitting on the stairs waiting for a mom that wasn’t coming back. Maybe the little girl inside me learned how to bite before anybody could leave teeth marks first.

I know I told myself I didn’t miss her. I spent years pretending I didn’t care, pretending I was over it, pretending her leaving didn’t hurt anymore. But maybe it still did…

I spent years being so angry about it, and maybe I wouldn’t be so bitter. So bitchy. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so damn abandoned all the time if I had a shoulder to lean on.

And I do now. I got Aries, but sometimes… sometimes you need that from a parent. And my dad’s the type to stop guidin’ you once you hit your teen years. Like the job halfway over or something.

“You know she’s not coming back, though…” he said, looking at me with a soft gaze.

I nodded sharply.

“I know.”

I did know. That’s what made it suck.

“I just…” The words got stuck in my throat as my throat tightened.

I looked down at my milkshake, fiddling with my straw.

“Just wish she loved us…” I murmured.

His face fell. And he reached across the table immediately and grabbed my hands.

“Londyn, you have me. I’m still here.”

I stared at his hand, then slowly pulled mine away. “Are you?”

His face changed.

“‘Cause it’s kinda clear Aries suggested you spend time with me.”

His expression stilled and my heart dropped, ’cause his expression told me everything.

“You heard our conversation?” he questioned.

My eyes widened. “So it’s true??”

“I was just fuckin’ assuming?” I laughed bitterly. “But seriously?”

His silence answered for him.

“Oh my God.” My voice cracked.

He leaned back in the booth, glancing around the diner.

I shook my head. “You can’t even bring yourself to ask me to hang out?”

My voice raised a little. “You gotta have somebody tell you?”

People started glancing over but I didn’t give a shit.

“You really couldn’t even come up with this yourself?”

He let out a slow breath. “Londyn…”

“No.” My chest tightened. “You had to have somebody tell you to spend time with your own daughter?”

“She said she could tell you’ve been down. And told me I should make time for you…”

That hurt even more, ’cause of course she did. Of course Aries noticed. Aries noticed everything.

When I wasn’t eating enough.

When I couldn’t sleep.

When I was too quiet.

When I was too loud.

When I was pretending.

When I wasn’t.

“She noticed because she cares.” My voice cracked again. “She actually sees me.”

“Lo—”

“You don’t anymore.”

My father rubbed his face as exhaustion flashed across him. Then frustration. “Can we do this another time?”

I stared at him, and laughed. This shit is ridiculous.

“Wow.”

“Londyn.”

“No, seriously.” I stood up from the booth. “That’s crazy.”

“Sit down.”

“Absolutely not?”

“Londyn,” he said firmly.

“I’m done.” I grabbed my purse then walked straight out.

The diner bell dinged behind me as the door swung open, the cold air smacking me in the face. Yet somehow it still wasn’t enough to cool me the fuck down.

A few minutes later my father came outside, his brows furrowed, his patience hanging by a thread. “What is with you causing scenes all the damn time?!”

I stayed silent, arms crossed tightly over my chest as I stared at the sidewalk.

“Londyn.”

“Can we just go home?” I said softly. The fight drained out of me all at once. I didn’t even have energy to yell anymore.

My father scoffed before unlocking the car. This time I sat in the back.

I knew it was petty. Did I care though? Not really.

I pulled my phone out instead, a notification popping up almost immediately.

> Aries: How’s your day going, mama?

My shoulders relaxed before I could stop them. Just seeing her name did it.

I typed back.

> L: I’m just ready to take a bath and listen to some music while I do my skincare.

The three bubbles appeared almost instantly.

> Aries: You home yet?

> L: No. Just leaving the diner with my dad.

I waited and waited.

Still no reply.

I leaned my head against the window instead, watching city lights blur together while cars passed by.

The farther we drove, the heavier my chest felt. Not because of the argument. Just…everything.

My mom.

My dad.

Jalen.

The loneliness that always seemed to creep back whenever life got quiet.

And the only thing that usually made it disappear was Aries, and right now she wasn’t answering.

By the time we pulled into the driveway, I was emotionally exhausted. I climbed out before my father could say anything and headed straight inside then upstairs toward my room.

The bathroom light buzzed overhead as I shut the door behind me.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a second before sucking my teeth.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I twisted the faucet on and let the tub fill, tossin’ my phone onto the counter. The room slowly filled with steam while my thoughts got louder.

My father’s face and words kept replaying in my head.

“You have me. I’m still here.”

Bullshit.

I kicked my socks off and sat on the edge of the tub.

If he was here, he’d know I stopped sleeping properly months ago. He’d know I barely touched breakfast unless Aries made it. He’d know I spent half my time pretending everything was funny so nobody asked questions.

Instead, Aries noticed. Aries. Not him.

My phone buzzed against the counter and I glanced over.

> Aries: You make it home?

I stared at the message, then typed.

> L: Yeah.

The Three dots appeared immediately.

> Aries: Everything okay?

I laughed bitterly. ‘Cause I knew that she already knew the answer.

> L: Not really.

> Aries: Want me to come over?

My chest tightened, because yes. Always yes. But that was becoming a problem.

I dropped my head into my hands.

> L: Dad pissed me off.

> Aries: What happened?

I stared at the screen for a long ass second, then finally typed.

> L: Found out spending time with me was your idea.

The three dots vanished then appeared again.

> Aries: You mad at me?

I sighed.

I could never be mad at her for that. She had my best interest at heart.

> L: No.

> Aries: Good. Because I ain’t sorry.

I rolled my eyes so hard.

> L: You hardheaded as hell.

> Aries: And yet.

A smile fought its way onto my face. I hated that. Absolutely fuckin’ hated it.

> L: Shut up.

> Aries: Take your bath, mama. I’ll see you tomorrow.

And somehow that simple message settled something in me.

Not completely because my father still hurt my feelings, my mother still wasn’t here, and nothing magically fixed itself.

But the pressure in my chest loosened just enough for me to breathe.