Chapter 16

𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗

“You still haven’t apologized?” Chelsea frowned, and I sighed, shaking my head like the answer might fall out if I shook hard enough.

The day I was supposed to apologize, Essence had already found Aries before me. Of course she did. Supposedly Aries had a cut by her eye from the dude’s ring, but I don’t know shit else ’bout it. No details. No follow-up. No nothing.

Why? Because I haven’t seen her since…Well—seen her, yeah. Spoke to her? No.

She been doing her job from a distance. We haven’t spoken since the campus event, and all that was, was an argument. Now she sits on the other side of the lecture hall like she paid extra for “ignore me” seatin’. 

Far, but not far enough to not feel her eyes on me. And every time I walk in with my group, she’s in the back with Khalil… or even further back by herself like she allergic to proximity.

But when it’s time to go home? Girl… silence. She drives me off like I’m an Uber passenger she don’t wanna rate. No music, no talking, no nothing. Just drop-off and dip. She don’t stay the night anymore either, and yeah… that alone? was eating me alive, ’cause I can’t sleep. I can’t stand it. I hate how she avoidin’ me like I committed a federal crime.

Was I really that foul?

“I’ve never gotten the chance to…” I murmured, and Chelsea raised a brow like I just told the dumbest lie she ever heard.

“Girl, she’s with us all the time?”

She wasn’t wrong. That’s the thing. Aries is around. Just… not with me. Not really at least. But the real problem?

Ion know how to apologize.

Every time I even think about it, my throat start acting up, like I’m allergic to accountability or sumn. Saying sorry means I gotta sit there and admit I was wrong… and yeah, I don’t do that. Like, at all. That ain’t my ministry.

But us not talkin’? Not even breathin’ in the same space for real? It’s gettin’ on my nerves bad. I deadass can’t sleep properly.

“How…” I cleared my throat, stalling like my life depended on it. “How do I… apologize?”

Imani smacked the back of my neck so fast I flinched, whippin’ around to see her standing there with Britney glued to her phone like always.

“You just say sorry,” Imani huffed, like I asked her to solve a Rubik’s cube. I smacked her hand right back.

“How—” I started again, more irritated this time, and Chelsea’s brows pulled together.

“Girl? Just say ‘I’m sorry,'” she said, real plain, like that was supposed to unlock somethin’ in me.

I grumbled, crossing my arms. “Y’all not helpful.”

“Chelsea, don’t stress,” Britney chimed in without even lookin’ up. “I ain’t never heard this girl say sorry a day in her life.”

I rolled my eyes so hard I could’ve sworn I seen the light. “Okay, and? Growth is a process.”

“Mm,” Imani hummed. “A slow one.”

“Can we come up with something?” I asked, because clearly I needed a strategy. A script. A teleprompter. Something???

Imani sighed like I was draining her spirit. “We all goin’ roller skating…”

I hummed, tapping my nail against my arm.

Now… I don’t know how to roller skate. At all. Like, I value my life. My bones. My reputation. But… if I could catch Aries alone for even two seconds and get this apology out? It might be worth the risk. I just gotta figure out how, because we ain’t said a single word to each other since that day. Not a text. Not a look that lasted longer than two seconds. Nothing.

“If y’all can get me some time alone with her,” I said, straightening up a little, “I’ll treat y’all to some food.”

Britney’s head lifted so quick you’d think I said “free rent!! free rent!!”

“Just drag her with you to the rink,” she shot back immediately, real eager.

I scrunched my face. “What if she don’t follow me?”

That’s when all three of them smiled. Not regular smiles either. Nah. Them we got you but you not gon’ like it smiles.

“Leave that to us,” Imani waved me up. “Just get in the damn car.”

I sucked my teeth but stood up from the bleachers anyway, grabbing my bag as we all started heading out. “Wait—where are they anyway?” I asked, pausing mid-step.

Imani hummed. “Khalil and Aries already there. So is Essence.”

I hummed slowly. Right. Essence. She in the group now. Or… temporarily. Whatever. Until she decides to go back to New York City and mind her business. After school, she be poppin’ up just to “visit,” but please. Ain’t nobody stupid. She not comin’ all this way for Khalil. She barely gave that man the time of day. All her attention? Yeah… that’s on Aries.

And I know—I know—for a fact, when she heard me and Aries got into it, she was somewhere smiling like she just won a prize.

That alone was irritatin’. But I’m not ’bout to let her enjoy that for too long. If puttin’ my pride to the side means I get Aries back and I get to watch Essence’s smile drop?

Bet. I’ll choke on a sorry. Just this once.

Imani drove us to the skating rink like we was late to a function nobody invited us to, one hand on the wheel, the other conducting the music like she in a tiny concert. Meanwhile, I was sitting pretty in the passenger seat, as comfortable as I could possibly get under the circumstances… which is to say, not very.

I had on sweats and a crop top that said, “Missionary so we can keep on arguin’.”

Yeah. Don’t ask me shit. It made sense when I put it on.

I wasn’t about to show up dressed like I had something to prove. This was a rink, not a runway. Lights, music, a little chaos, maybe a broken ankle or two. Very casual. Very… dangerous for me specifically, because I do not skate. At all.

The second we walked in, my eyes locked onto Aries. She was sitting next to Essence, drink in hand, looking all calm and unbothered like she hadn’t been haunting my sleep schedule for the past week.

And just like that, my chest tightened. The feelin’ where it starts pacing back and forth in your stomach. Because now it was real. Now I actually had to apologize. Or worse… figure out how to get her alone while Essence was practically glued to her side like she had a loyalty membership.

But my girls? Oh, they clocked it immediately. Before I could even open my mouth, they were already in motion, swoopin’ in with laughs and random questions, draggin’ Essence away like, “Girl, come see this real quick,” knowing good and well nothing was over there.

Aries looked up and we locked eyes, but I folded. I broke eye contact first like I owed her money, my heart beating so hard I was surprised nobody could hear it over the music.

Okay. Okay. Breathe. Be grown. Be mature. Be somebody who says “sorry” like a normal human being.

I quickly put on my skates, which was mistake number one. I waddled over to her like a newborn deer tryna mind her business.

“We need to talk,” I said, trying to sound firm, like I wasn’t two seconds away from eating the damn floor. She didn’t even blink. Just pushed off and glided onto the rink.

“About?” Her voice was flat.

I sighed, pushing off after her like I had a death wish. “Last week…” I murmured.

“It’s fine. I get what you meant.”

She started heading off the rink, and I reached out, grabbing her arm before she could escape. My legs immediately betrayed me, jerking forward and back like I was bufferin’ in real life. “Aries, please,” I huffed, trying not to bust my ass mid-plea.

She turned around slowly, jaw tight, the little piece of gauze under her eye catchin’ my attention immediately. Yellow and green bruising blooming around it like a reminder I didn’t ask for but definitely deserved.

I pinched the hem of her white tee to keep myself steady, and she just… let me. Skatin’ smooth and effortless. Meanwhile, I was laggin’ behind like my connection was sponsored by a rainstorm.

People were passin’ us, music was loud, lights flashing, and all I could think about was how I didn’t know how to skate or apologize. Two things, both beating my ass.

I probably looked ridiculous. Actually—not probably. I did.

Still, I tried to keep up with her. “You haven’t been staying over…” I started, my voice soundin’ smaller than I liked.

She shrugged like it didn’t matter. “Don’t think I need to. I just gotta do my job and be done.”

Well, damn. Okay…?

I swallowed, glancing at her. “Aries, I ain’t mean it like that—”

“I think you did.” She cut me off so quick I almost lost my balance again. I shook my head, frustrated with myself more than anything.

Because yeah, I say things when I’m mad. I run my mouth like it’s on autopilot. But that didn’t mean I meant it. I was just… overwhelmed. Frustrated. Confused. And I didn’t know how to handle someone being patient with me without ruinin’ it.

“I didn’t,” I said, more serious now. “I was just… frustrated.”

The word sat heavy. “I took it out on you and—” And then my foot slipped. Of course it did. Because why would my life let me have a clean moment? I went down with a yelp, hands flailing, dignity leaving my body in real time.

There was a pause. Then Aries turned, looked down at me, and sighed like this was exactly what she expected.

She held her hand out.

I stared at it, then at her. My face felt hot. Like, embarrassingly hot. Like I might actually combust right there on the rink and save myself the trouble.

Still… I took her hand. Her grip firm, steady, and grounding. She pulled me up like it was nothing, like I didn’t just embarrass myself in front of a whole bunch of people.

And when our hands fit together. A little shiver ran up my spine, quick and unexpected, like my body knew something my mouth hadn’t admitted yet.

I looked at her, but she was already looking at me. And my heart—the traitor that it is—skipped a couple beats.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted. No warning. No nothing. 

Her expression shifted instantly. That cold, closed-off look softened, just a little, but enough for me to notice.

And somehow? That made it worse.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, words spillin’ faster now. “I should’ve never hurt you like that.”

I didn’t even know where it was coming from anymore. It just kept going. She guided me as we skated, her hand still holdin’ mine, steadying me every time I wobbled.

“I was frustrated, yeah, but I took it out on you and you didn’t deserve that. I just felt replaced and I—”

“Replaced?” she cut in.

I froze.

She moved in front of me, stoppin’ me completely, my hand still locked in hers.

“No—I—” I started, then stopped. Because now I actually had to stand in it.

“With Essence?” she asked.

I looked away immediately, but her hand came up, tiltin’ my chin back toward her.

“Look at me when I’m talkin’ to you, Lo,” she said, softer this time.

I bit the inside of my cheek, then nodded. “Yeah…”

“What? Why?” she pressed.

I huffed, rollin’ my eyes a little before catching myself. “It’s the way you always laughin’,” I admitted. “And plus… you don’t even listen to me like that?”

Her brows pulled together. “Youn even talk to me like that?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Because… she wasn’t wrong.

“So—” I exhaled, then tried again, quieter this time. “How do I talk to you like that then…?”

My hand tightened in her shirt without me even realizing it. Because that was the real problem, wasn’t it? The version of Aries I saw with Essence… attentive, focused, listening like every word mattered.

I had never seen that before.

Not with me, and I hated that.

Hated that I wasn’t the one who brought that out of her.

Hated that I wanted to be.

The song switched like the DJ suddenly remembered people got feelings, not just ankles to risk. Everything slowed down, lights softer, beat mellow… and before I could even process it, Aries’ hands slid to my waist.

She pulled me in real slow, and I grabbed onto her biceps on instinct, just to stay upright… or maybe just to have something to do with my hands before I embarrassed myself again. Her gaze dropped to my lips for a second, then back up.

“What—” I started, my eyes widenin’, her grip tightenin’ just enough to make my stomach flip. ’cause why the hell is she leanin’ in like that? Why is her grip tightenin’ like that??

“Why do you wanna talk to me that way?” she asked, low and steady.

I blinked. What kind of question—?

But then I noticed her chest rising and falling a little heavier than usual like she was holdin’ something back, and suddenly my answer got stuck somewhere between my pride and my panic.

“I—”

“I like the way you are now,” she added.

Excuse me?

My eyes widened even more, which honestly shouldn’t have been possible at this point. My heart thumped so hard it honestly felt disrespectful. I nodded, real useless, like that answered anything. For what? I don’t know. I was just… nodding. Agreein’. Tryin’ not to freak the fuck out.

“Can you come back to the house…” I murmured, real quiet, like if I said it too loud, she might change her mind.

She nodded.

That’s all it took. And for some reason, that little nod did somethin’ to me.

Next thing I knew, my hands slid up from her arms and looped around her neck like they had a mind of their own. Her arms wrapped around my waist immediately, pullin’ me in close, and my body folded into hers like it had been waiting all week to do that.

Now listen.

I ain’t a touchy-feely person. I don’t be doin’ all this soft, cuddly, “hold me” shit in public. But right then? I needed it.

I was relieved. Like a weight finally got up off my chest because I finally opened my mouth and said what needed to be said. Because that distance? That weird tension I created? Yea. I couldn’t do that shit no more.

“I’m really sorry,” I murmured against her, my voice softer than I’d ever admit out loud.

She didn’t say anything. She just held me tighter, burying her face in my neck like she did that night, like we didn’t just spend a whole week acting brand new.

Her lips brushed my neck real quick and my entire body shivered like I just got electrocuted by a soft touch. I pulled back so damn fast, clearing my throat, my face hot as hell.

“Nobody can replace your annoyin’ ass,” she said casually.

I glared, smacking her arm. “Watch your mouth.”

She laughed, grabbing my hand again like she had every intention of keeping it, and honestly? I let her.

My heart did that fuck ass thump again, loud and unnecessary, as she guided me across the rink like  wasn’t a liability on wheels.

When we passed Imani and Britney, they started snickering like they just watched a full rom-com unfold live. But I ignored them.

Eventually, they all joined us on the rink once I got the hang of it… kinda. Sorta. Enough to not die immediately to be honest. But I stayed right next to Aries.

A whole week wasted because I couldn’t say sorry and control my attitude?

Yeah. I ain’t moving right now.

I leaned my head against her shoulder, squeezin’ her hand a little tighter.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but…” I paused, suddenly nervous again. “Could you help me sleep tonight?”

I said it fast. Too fast. Like if I slowed down, I wouldn’t say it at all.

Her brows furrowed. “Huh?”

“I said—” I repeated it even faster, which somehow made it worse.

She still looked confused, so I sighed and forced myself to slow down.

“Sleep in my room with me again,” I said, but it came out a little bossier than I meant, because yeah… fear…Plus, rejection ain’t my brand.

But she just nodded anyway. Like it was nothing. Like she wasn’t about to save my entire week.

Before I could process that, Essence skated over, pointin’ at Aries like she was checking out a library book. “Do you mind if I steal her for a couple minutes?”

My grip on Aries’ hand tightened instantly. “I do mind,” I said, quick and sharp, then cleared my throat like I didn’t just sound possessive as fuck in public.

My face burned.

Essence huffed and rolled off, and Aries laughed under her breath, shakin’ her head.

“What?” I huffed. “I meant that.”

She didn’t argue. Instead, she moved behind me, her hands settlin’ on my hips as she guided me backward.

“I know,” she said, voice low.

And yeah… that tone? Sheesh…I almost forgot how to skate again.

We stayed on the rink just vibing, dancing, moving with the music. And me? I still did not leave Aries’ side. Not once. Not even a little bit.

Essence had her all week. She can survive a day without her. She’ll be aight. Thoughts and prayers though.

Meanwhile, I was counting down the seconds until we went home. Because I hadn’t slept properly in days, and the thought of finally getting some peaceful sleep? Yeah. That sounded like heaven. Especially with my test tomorrow. 

I needed every ounce of rest I could steal.

And the second we got home, I didn’t waste time. Shower. Skincare. Tea. A full reset. If sleep was a destination, my ass was catchin’ a first-class flight.

Aries walked over while I was sittin’ on the edge of the bed, comfortable in a wife beater and sweats, her hair all braided back. I reached out and tugged her top, pulling her down toward me.

Her eyes dropped to my hands, then back up to my face as she leaned in.

My body stiffened immediately, eyes widening as her breath brushed against my lips.

“Why’d you need my help?” she asked softly, before shifting and pressing her face into the crook of my neck instead.

I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding, my arms wrapping around her shoulders automatically. Because for a second there, I thought she was ’bout to kiss me…and I was not prepared. At all.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I murmured against her shoulder. “It’ll get your ego in a bunch.”

She hummed, not even arguin’, her fingers  just slidin’ into my hair. Slow and gentle, scratching lightly at my scalp.

My eyes started closing on their own.

Her fingers moved from scratching lightly to massaging, draggin’ slow across my scalp like she knew exactly what she was doing, a sudden soft hum slippin’ out before I could stop it as I leaned into her touch.

“I guess you like that,” she muttered.

“Shut up,” I mumbled weakly, already halfway gone.

Her fingers kept moving, steady and warm, and just like that… my thoughts started fading, drifting off one by one.

My eyes opened, then closed again, my head leaning further into her touch as sleep started creeping in, real slow, real heavy.

And finally—sleep found me.

𐃯

Once mornin’ hit, I was still wrapped up in her arms like I had a subscription I wasn’t canceling no time soon. My back pressed against her chest, her arm draped near my face like she placed it there on purpose and forgot to move it.

I turned around slow, real smooth, and snuggled right back into her. She let out a groan, voice deep and scratchy, and I looked up at her, messin’ with her cheeks like she wasn’t about to act irritated in two seconds.

“What you want for breakfast?” she mumbled, voice still raspy with sleep.

She pulled me closer while she said it, and I grabbed the back of her wife beater. “You already know…” I said softly into her chest.

She hummed. And listen…that little vibration? It moved through me like, “yeah, go ‘head and act like youn feel that.” I had to blink a couple times just to act normal.

She already knew what was up too. I was not moving. Not yet. She was finna be stuck right here with me for a good couple minutes until I decided I was done being comfortable. Not her. Me.

But eventually, 10 a.m. rolled around, rude as hell, and I finally dragged myself out the bed. Showered, did my thing, threw on something calm, and made my way downstairs like I wasn’t just actin’ soft ten minutes ago and spent the mornin’ actin’ like a damn koala.

“Imani and Britney said they’re stopping by,” I said, walkin’ into the kitchen.

She nodded, handing me my plate like she knew better than to have me standin’ there empty-handed. Growth. We love to see it.

“Have fun.”

My brows lifted immediately. “Will you still be here tonight or you gotta leave?” I asked, side-eyein’ her as I tried to sound casual, but failin’.

She shook her head. “Still gotta leave.”

I hummed, pickin’ up a piece of bacon like that answer ain’t just annoy me. “Thanks for last night…” I mumbled.

She chuckled. “You been gettin’ real good at saying thank you.”

I cut my eyes at her so fast. “Don’t remind me. I’ll stop right here, right now. Don’t play with me.”

She raised a brow, then started mockin’ me in this high-pitched voice. “Thank you, Aries. Thank you!”

I shoved her immediately, but she barely moved, just standin’ there laughin’ like I didn’t just put my all strength into that damn push.

I rolled my eyes, but a smile still crept onto my face. “Shut up.”

She stepped closer, and I looked up at her as she stopped right in front of me, invadin’ my space. “You and these crop tops, Londyn.” she muttered, shaking her head with a little laugh.

I hummed, poking her abdomen like I wasn’t distracted by the fact she was too damn close for me to think straight. 

“Mind your business.” Then I paused. “… Wait, when you comin’ back?”

And the second it left my mouth, I blinked. ‘Cause why do I sound like a clingy bitch right now?

She answered anyway. “Tomorrow mornin’.”

I huffed like that wasn’t soon enough, because clearly I had lost all sense of independence in the last twelve hours.

Apparently, my dad wanted to talk to her about somethin’. Don’t ask me what, because I don’t know a damn thing. All I know is he flyin’ out a private jet to come get her like this some kind of business deal.

Which… actually tracks.

Suddenly my phone buzzed, and I glanced down to see Imani sent something in the group chat. I opened it, expectin’ nonsense. And got attacked instead with pictures of me and Aries on the rink.

One where we were hugged up like we just got reunited after a war. One where she holding my hand. And a couple more with her hands on my waist

I closed my eyes immediately, cursin’ under my breath. Because why do we look like that? Why do we look… cute?

“What?” she asked.

I turned the phone to her, already annoyed. She looked and laughed. Like… actually laughed.

My eyes snapped open. “How is this funny!? We look like a couple!?” I said, fully offended, because absolutely not. No. Delete it. Erase it. Burn it even!?

She just kept laughin’ like this was the best thing she seen all week.

I looked back at the pictures, my face heatin’ up. “She needs to delete these. Immediately.”

I started typin’ fast. Real fast. my thumbs workin’ like I had something to prove.

> L: Do you have any more..?

I paused, blinking at my own message then slowly looked up.