Chapter 76

“Can you tell Ron and Hermione?”

They were on their way back down from the Owlery, Harry and Atlas, after sending their letter off to Sirius, telling them of all the things they had just seen, all the things Dumbledore had told them and most notably, Harry’s dream. Atlas had uttered her usual strengthening charm before they left and now they had just entered the Entrance Hall, welcoming the subtle warmth that melted the light cold that had settled underneath their skin from the cool evening’s breeze.

Harry looked up at Atlas when she said this, taking the girl in and seeing the heaviness that hung just behind her eyes. She looked exhausted but he supposed after everything that had happened to her lately, it was a valid reaction. In fact, he was surprised she wasn’t crashing and burning. He also couldn’t help but think back to the way she had looked when he and Ron had finally caught up to her in Divination. The wet hair, dishevelled clothes and reddened eyes. All tell-tale signs of a breakdown, yet Atlas hadn’t mentioned it, so, should he? He wanted Atlas to rely on him but didn’t really know how to help when she did, they usually just hugged it out.

“Er — sure,” he nodded, seeking to alleviate some stress. Although he did feel the need to remind Atlas of something. “You still need to talk to Hermione though.”

“…I know.”

“What will you say?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, stumbling up the stairs, Gryffindor Tower growing ever closer and with each step, Atlas grew more and more troubled. “I think I should stop coming to training, I don’t want to hurt Ron or Hermione again.”

“Hermione won’t like that, not one bit. You better not run off again, she was so…not Hermione, it was unsettling and having you missing will just make it worse,” Harry pried, idly offering that weeks password to the Lady who offered Atlas a curt hello, the girl returned it but didn’t delve into deeper conversation, instead, she continued inside, her insides now churning.

She’d spotted Hermione and Ron by the fire.

“Harry! Atlas!” But Ron was the first to notice them, standing up and beaming, but the look on Atlas’s face coupled with Harry’s unease seemed to put a dampener on his mood and he immediately grew concerned, intrigued and definitely ready to throw questions at them. Only, Hermione beat him to it but with a much less Harry and Atlas question, in fact, it wasn’t a question at all.

“Atlas, we need to talk.”

“Harry has something he wants to tell you,” Atlas muttered and made for the girls’ staircase, “you should listen to him first…I’m gonna go to our dorm.”

“But this is urgent –“

“I never said I wouldn’t talk to you, just –” Atlas felt herself cracking, a sharp rock lodging itself in her throat as her eyes started to burn but not from their golden glow, no, she was on the brink of breaking. “Give me a moment.”

“…ok,” Hermione agreed softly.

“Thank you,” Atlas nodded and then turned to hurry up the stairs, reaching her door and gently pushing it open, letting it quietly close behind her. 

The little zoo that greeted her at least lifted her spirits, even if it was a minuscule amount, she ended up smiling slightly, sitting on her bed with Crookshanks in her lap, her assortment of flying pets sat on her headboard by her head.

She didn’t know how long had gone by, didn’t feel the need to check, it felt like an eternity and that was all she needed to know, and she knew Hermione had come up to bed after that eternity, not making a peep as she sat at the foot of Atlas’s bed. Atlas didn’t know what she was going to say so she waited for Hermione to give her a question to answer. Only it never came, instead, Crookshanks had suddenly left her lap and Hermione was suddenly in her arms, holding her tight.

“I was worried about you this morning,” Hermione muttered, sighing as she pulled away and pinched Atlas’s cheek, smiling feebly. “Where did you run off to?”

“I…I just — Myrtle’s bathroom,” Atlas responded numbly, her brows drawn together.

“Ah, so that’s why I couldn’t find you. I thought you avoided Myrtle these days.”

“I do — Hermione why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?”

“You’re ignoring what I did.”

“No, I’m not, I acknowledged that you accidentally stunned me a little too hard but –“

“I don’t want to train with you anymore,” and then Atlas stood, leaving Hermione on her bed, looking as if the Stunner Charm hadn’t entirely worn off. 

“Atlas, wait, where are you going?”

“I’m going to ask Minnie if I can go to Hogs –“

“No, you’re not doing that again,” Hermione refuted, shaking her head surely. “Seriously, Atlas, we agreed you wouldn’t run away after what happened the first time.”

“That was before I hurt you, Hermione!”

“It’s not a big deal, I woke up seconds later –“

“It’s a big deal to me!” Atlas erupted and a crack traversed up the windowpane she stood beside, slowly continuing as Atlas’s chest heaved, the girl groaning as she staggard to Hermione’s bed, clutching where her heart lurched in agony. Hermione went wide-eyed, moving forward but Kalo jumped into action, flapping at her, warning her to stay away with his beady black eyes. 

They had to wait a moment, in total silence as Atlas calmed herself down, her head in her hand as Hermione remained stood, for each time she tried to get closer Kalo would swipe her away, shrieking loudly and she didn’t want to back away as she feared Atlas would take it wrong, feared Atlas would think she was scared. And she was, but not because of her, no, she was scared for her.

“Atlas –“

“Please…I don’t want to hurt you like I hurt Bella…” Atlas wheezed. “Stay away.”

Right, Atlas had told her about that, about the day her magic had manifest, about how scared she’d been and about how she’d restrained Bella, scaring her leg. Atlas never really spoke about it after their brief discussion of it that day in the library and, well, Hermione had admittedly never thought about it again until now, there had just been so much stuff going on. But, Atlas had described it with such nonchalance back then, however, this time, she made it sound as if what she’d done to Bella was so much more. So much worse.

“What did you do, Atty?”

“I hurt her…I hurt her so bad — I almost killed her…” Atlas whispered, crying now, her hands on the back of her neck. Hermione startled at that, swallowing as, through Kalo’s protests, she took a step forward. 

An overwhelming sense of fear now blanketed the room, as if the scene itself was responding to what Atlas was feeling and plummeted its self into matching despair. Hermione had some trouble stopping the shaking of her legs but pushed through it, dropping to her knees in front of Atlas, trying to catch her eye.

“Hey…Bella’s fine, we saw her a little while ago didn’t we?”

“She — she hates me.”

“No, she doesn’t, Atlas.”

“She does and you’ll — you’ll hate me too.”

“Atlas…why are you — why are you saying this?” Hermione raised her shaky hands to hers, grasping them in her own. “Hey…remember, you told me Bella was going to take you and Cedric to Romania? She’s going to show you her favourite spot, right? And…you’re spending the summer with me and I’m going to show you all of my favourite movies.”

“No, no it’ll change. You’ll hate me, I know you will,” Something was wrong. Atlas was really scared, so scared, in a way that wasn’t her. Hermione had seen when Atlas was scared, she’d been there to hold her after she’d been chosen for the tournament, it was totally different back then. Or even how she reacted to strong emotions in general. Atlas longed for physical comfort and though sometimes she ran, she always came back for that support. This, however, this time there was a surety to her voice. Almost like arguing with a kid who thought their opinion was, fact. Truth.

“Atlas…” Hermione grew stern, cupping her cheeks in her hands and brushing over them with her thumbs as she always did. “I’m not going to hate you, it was an accident…we don’t have to train offence, ok? And Bella doesn’t hate you either, she talked about you every day during the Quidditch Cup.”

“No, you’ll hate –“

“Shush, Bella loves you, ok? God, Atlas, I — Atlas, I love you.”

“You love me?”

It was the first time Hermione had ever heard Atlas say ‘love’ and it was strange, not in a bad way and nor was it unwelcome, it just sounded foreign, completely new and, well, it was nice the way she said it. Her voice rose a little higher, a hint of curiosity laden beneath the word as if unsure of what it meant, and there was some hopeful innocence to it, she didn’t sound like her usual self, she sounded indescribably soft. 

“Of course I do…you’re my best friend, my person.”

The window had stopped cracking and the fog of fear had diminished. Whatever had just occurred had come to pass and Hermione hoped Atlas no longer felt the numbness in her arms she usually felt when on the brink of an outburst. Still, she had her questions — questions as to why Atlas had suddenly become so off, so suddenly insecure. She knew Atlas had some self-worth issues but that — it was as if it were amplified. But she wouldn’t ask, she didn’t even know if Atlas had the answers.

“I…too.”

“Hmm?” Hermione smiled, tilting her head curiously at the pure concentration on Atlas’s face.

“I — I also…”

“Oh…” Hermione murmured as Atlas stared into her hands dejectedly. “It’s ok Atty, I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, you don’t have to say it,” she assured. 

“But…would you like it if I did?”

“…I guess,” Hermione shrugged and then stood, Atlas watching her with furrowed brows, she looked incredibly dazed and Hermione couldn’t blame her. She’d never found a book about it when she’d searched but she knew restraining and repressing your magic was bound to be tiring. “Come on, go to sleep. We’re training tomorrow –“

“I don’t want to –“

“You’ll only do defence, Atty,” Hermione hushed, kissing the top of her hair. “I promise. You’ll be fending off my attacks.”

“Ok…yeah,” Atlas nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

They lapsed into a moment of silence.

“Hermione…what I said about Bella –“

“It doesn’t change how I see you, Atty.”

“…really?”

“Atlas…of course not,” Hermione placed a hand on the girl’s thigh. “Everybody has their demons…and well, newsflash they’re pretty ugly but it doesn’t define you. What happened back then and what’s happening now it’s not — you have to realise it’s not you’re fault.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Atlas…”

“I know…I just need to sleep,” Atlas sighed, falling backwards and grabbing one of Hermione’s pillows. “Night.”

“You’re going to sleep…right there? Won’t it be uncomfortable?”

“Right, yeah, you’re right,” she sat up and grabbed Hermione, pulling her down with her. “Now I’m comfortable.”

“This wasn’t what I meant but ok…”

They fell asleep after that, waking up the next day to start their training for the Third Task. As promised Hermione only worked Atlas on her defensive spells, always stopping if Atlas looked particularly overwhelmed. And it worked for the days and weeks that followed, continuing well on into June when the mood of the castle became excited and tense again. She didn’t crack, there wasn’t even so much as a flicker in her eye, no, it seemed whatever had happened that day up in their dorm room had calmed her somehow. Tipped some of the water from the overflowing bucket.

Atlas didn’t constantly feel on the brink of exploding.

There was one problem though, concerning Hermione and Ron, they’d been so focused on helping her and Harry they’d neglected to study for their exams, actually, Hermione had probably found some time but Ron? He was screwed. Well, he would have been if Atlas hadn’t stepped in to hold a mini-study class, now he was sure to pass at least some of his subjects. They’d at least pass Defense Against the Dark Arts with top marks, they’d never have found out about all the Hexes they had in class, no matter how competent Moody was as a professor.

Recently, they had been working on some Protective Charms as Harry had asked what exactly the spell Atlas had used in the First task against the Agoniser’s fire breath was. She’d explained to him what Protego was and had asked Hermione to throw a Stunner Charm at her, demonstrating its effects. However, Harry, unfortunately, didn’t quite grasp it.

It was curious considering he’d gotten the hang off all of the other curses Atlas had brought up; the Impediment Curse, for one which was a spell to slow down and obstruct attackers; then the Reductor Curse, which would enable the caster to blast solid objects out of their way; and the Four-Point Spell – though Hermione had found that one, explaining that it would point their wands due north.

“You’re still doing really well, though,” Hermione said encouragingly, looking down her list and crossing off those spells they had already learned. Atlas nodded in agreement from where she sat beside the girl, drinking from a water bottle she’d carved over the weekend. It was quite handy. “Some of these are bound to come in handy.”

“Come and look at this,” Ron said, standing by the window. He was staring down onto the grounds. “What’s Malfoy doing?”

Atlas jumped up, moving over to the window and hooking her arm around Hermione’s shoulder, leaning out of the opening to get a better view, her eyes narrowed as she refrained from shifting her eyes. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were standing in the shadow of a tree below. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to be keeping a lookout; both were smirking. Malfoy was holding his hand up to his mouth and speaking into it.

“He looks like he’s using a walkie-talkie,” Harry said curiously.

“What’s one of those?” Atlas asked.

“It’s like a telephone, Atty. Remember the one I showed you?”

“Oh…why is it called ‘walkie’ though? It just sounds like something I used to say to Lyra when she was a pup.”

“Yeah, it’s weird,” Ron agreed, “it’s something you’d say to tell your dog you were taking it out, right?”

“Right,” Atlas grinned.

“Please can we not get into the logistics of why a walkie-talkie is called a walkie-talkie,” Harry sighed, “can we instead focus on why Malfoy is talking into one.”

“He can’t be,” Hermione refuted, “I’ve told you, those sorts of things don’t work around Hogwarts. Come on,” she added briskly, turning away from the window and moving back into the middle of the room. Atlas and Ron shared a look, shrugging as they followed. “let’s try that Shield Charm again, Harry.”

The two sat down, allowing Hermione and Harry the floor as they instead watched, idly chatting to each other. Ron was still recovering from a Jelly-Legs Jinx so he was sitting out for a bit and as Harry needed more practise than Atlas, she’d offered to sit out, swapping so Hermione worked with him for a bit. It was fine though, Atlas was years ahead in Defense Against the Dark Arts, she was just a little rusty on spells she’d learnt as a tot so, really, the training sessions were just opportunities for her to polish off that rust.

She sunk further into her chair, groaning quietly, content as she undid her tie and unbuttoned the topmost part of her shirt. It was getting hotter, summer was just around the corner and it didn’t help that Atlas was sitting right in the sun. Though it did seem to summon some feeling of longing, longing for her bed, a nice ice bath and cuddles from her favourite bushy-haired — cat. Crookshanks, of course, that was definitely who Atlas was thinking about.

“Mate, you want a tissue?” Atlas was startled, turning to look over at Ron who was holding a napkin out to her. It was no doubt something he’d gotten from breakfast that morning. Atlas took it, confused only to flush when Ron pointed at her cheek. Had she been drooling? “You nervous?”

“What?”

“About the task. We’ve only got a few days to finish our preparations…I guess what I’m asking is, do you think you’re ready?” Ron shrugged, wiggling his limp legs around. 

“I suppose…there’s nothing else I can really do. I have to be ready,” Atlas murmured, wiping her cheek and burning the tissue with a swift flick of her wand. “To be honest I’m actually pretty excited.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to just get this all over and done with.”

“Oh right, yeah, I can’t wait for the summer.” He turned to her, lightly pushing her shoulder. “You should definitely come and visit the Burrow, my mum was a bit upset she didn’t get the chance to meet you after the Quidditch Cup. And yeah, I know you’re spending it with Hermione but you could pop-in.”

“That sounds nice, actually, thanks, Ron.”

“Don’t sweat it mate. I am your best friend after all,” Ron beamed.

“Of course, of course. Don’t doubt it,” Atlas smiled back, ruffling his hair. “One question though.”

“What is it?”

“Can Hermione come with me?”

“…if she really has to,” Ron grumbled and Atlas grinned, shaking her head at the boy’s hesitance. 

“She’s not that bad, Ronald.”

“You’re biased, if you didn’t have a big fat crush on her, you’d definitely agree with me,” Ron said, looking sure of himself. Atlas simply cocked her head to the side, smiling with a tilt to her brows.

“Ron, there isn’t a world in which I’ve not fallen for Hermione Granger.”

Ron slowly turned to her, eyes wide, “You said it.”

“What?”

“You said you love her.”

“I — no I didn’t…I just –“

” — said you fell for her!”

“Fell for who?” 

The two of them stopped and turned to look up at Hermione, the girl taking a quick swig from her water bottle as Harry mindlessly ambled after her, he looked as if he’d been hit by a good five stunners. His eyes were glazed over and he was moving with an incline, drifting off and to the left until he collided with a pile of chairs. Ron winced, Atlas doing the same while Hermione turned and sighed, helping the boy up and sitting him down in a stray beanbag.

“Take a break Harry,” Hermione said and the boy nodded dumbly. “Atty.”

“Yeah?” Atlas said, sort of breathlessly as she shot to her feet, looking down at Hermione, her attention taken and utterly ensnared. 

“Your turn.”

“Sure…” She nodded slowly, walking to the middle of the room. “So, how do you want to — ?”

“Stupify!”

Atlas hastily swiped the spell away, screaming the incantation in her head before her mouth even had a chance to move. She stopped after that, looking at Hermione with wide eyes as the girl grinned and twirled her wand between her fingers. She looked incredibly pleased with herself and actually, Atlas was pretty proud as well, surprised Hermione would take such a cheap shot.

“Oh, it is on Granger — !”

“Expeliarmus!“

“Hey, you can’t do — !”

“Stupify!”

“Shit…”