Chapter 8

First to class – as she had been for the past few days – Atlas tied up her hair and wrapped up her hands, feeling the eyes of Professor Lupin studying her every move. When her hair and hands were done she turned to look over at him questioningly, only for him to smile in turn, his own scar littered face mirroring Atlas’s. She regarded the man a moment before smiling back and taking out her wand, twirling it over and under her fingers casually as she waited for other students to start pouring in.

“That’s your mother’s wand,” It was a statement, not a question so Atlas responded to it as such.

“It was left to me, the only thing I have of her beside her journals and a broken necklace,” she told and then looked over to him, noting the sadness in his eyes, “I think they were intending on giving it to me as some sort of decoration. Weren’t counting on me creating a bond with the wand.”

“Yes well, you are her blood,” Professor Lupin reasoned.

“Did you know her, Professor?”

“…yes,” he nodded, smiling but only slightly, “yes, we were friends. Amaya and I…”

“Could you tell me what she was like?”

“Strong for sure, noble and loyal, she could be erratic at times, hyper fixating on a singular topic only to jump to another one after she’d deemed her research enough. An oddball, I would have deemed her a Ravenclaw if it weren’t for the bravery she displayed that overruled her knowledge and wisdom,” Lupin seemed to go into a state of nostalgia at the memories, eventually turning and setting his gaze on Atlas once again, “You look exactly like her.”

“Everyone says I’m like my dad…”

“Yes well, nobody knew them quite as I did, you may have your fathers…better…mannerisms but everything else belongs to your mother,” He told matter of factly and Atlas smiled slightly, only to look past him and at the shaking wardrobe he had tucked behind him, “Ah, our lesson for today.”

“A Boggart?” Atlas mused.

“You’re well informed.”

“Yeah…I may not have been a student here but I still studied,” Atlas smirked, taking her robes off and rolling up her sleeves, to cross them, examining the wardrobe with a sharp eye. Whatever was inside would be her greatest fear and in honesty, she was more intrigued than scared to know just what that might be. It could be many things but because it could be many things wouldn’t that lessen the blow of the fear? After all, she has fears of course but they all amount to the same in the end, so if she saw one and not the other, how would she react? 

“You don’t seem at all moved.”

“I’m just wondering what my fear might be…wondering what the Boggart may turn into,” She muttered honestly, just as other students began pouring in. They too eyed the wardrobe but with more caution than intrigue as Atlas was. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see…”

“I guess so…” Professor Lupin nodded and then turned, addressing the class as a whole as the last of them came to a stop inside, “Nothing to worry about,” He told calmly as more people let out noises of distress at the banging coming from within the seemingly harmless wardrobe. “Would anyone like to venture a guess as to what is inside? Not you, Atlas.”

“That’s a Boggart, that is,” Dean Thomas announced as Professor Lupin circled around the back of the group to come back to the front, Atlas went to stand by Harry and Ron, casually peering around for Hermione who had yet to show herself.

“Very good, Mr Thomas.”

“Where’s Hermione?” Atlas asked, to which the boys exchanged a look before glancing around the class.

“Dunno,” Ron shrugged but then Harry came forward, not at all perturbed by Hermione’s absence.

“Atlas do you like girls?”

“Uh…” Atlas blinked back her shock, glancing between the two boys in confusion before gathering herself and standing tall again. It was a weird and sudden question, “why?”

“Ron has a crush on you,” Harry offered and the boy in question went a bright red, sputtering over his denial. Atlas regarded him with a look of sympathy before ruffling his hair, a sorry smile on her face.

“Yeah, sorry Ron, I’ve liked girls ever since I visited the Beauxbatons Academy,” She offered warmly.

“I-it’s fine,” Ron waved off, promptly turning to look at Harry like he’d just murdered his pet rat.

“Now, can anybody tell me what a Boggart looks like?” Professor Lupin continued in the background and the three turned their attention back to the front, Atlas with her hands in her pockets whilst Ron and Harry proceeded to push and nudge at each other behind her.

“No one knows,” Atlas almost jumped out of her skin, looking down to her right to see Hermione standing as if she wasn’t just absent from the class.

“When did she get here?” Ron hissed from behind her and she had to admit, she wanted the answer to that too.

“Boggarts are shape-shifters. They take the shape of whatever a person fears the most and that’s what makes it so terrifying,” Hermione continued, completely blanking Ron and, instead, looking up at Atlas with a soft smile once she had finished her explanation, “Hey you.”

“Hey…Hermione,” Atlas muttered, still looking down at her in slight shock.

“Couldn’t have put it better myself, Miss Granger,” Professor Lupin praised and Hermione beamed, now focussing back to the front, leaving Atlas to stare at her profile in confusion, “So the Boggart sitting in the darkness within has not yet assumed a form because it does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. This means we have an advantage. Have you spotted it, Harry?”

Atlas was sure, having Hermione next to him, bobbing up and down like an apple in water, was off-putting for him and was surprised to see the boy have a go at the question, “Uh — because there are so many of us, it won’t know what shape it should be?”

“Precisely, yes,” Professor Lupin nodded and Hermione seemed to deflate a little so Atlas patted her head, “Now, Atlas, tell me, as I’m sure you know if you’ve already studied this subject, what really finishes off a Boggart?”

“Well…” Atlas glanced down to Hermione, seeing that she was, surprisingly, not jumping up and down in wait to answer the question but was instead nodding her head for her to go on, “Well, first of all when facing a Boggart it’s obviously best to be in at least a pair because you’ll be able to confuse it. Then while it’s confused, you have to force it into a form you find amusing because your laughter will send it cowering.”

“Excellent, well done, do you know the charm that repels the Boggart?”

“Ah…no sir, I don’t remember spells I haven’t tried myself,” She admitted but he smiled nonetheless and nodded, turning to the rest of the class.

“Alright class, we will practice the simple charm without our wands first. After me, please…riddikulus!” He called out.

“Riddikulus!”

Tuning everything out, Atlas gazed through the window on the left side of the class, eyebrows furrowed in thought. What could her fear be? The music Professor Lupin had put on to lighten the dull mood of the class echoed in her mind as soon laughter ensued, still though, she was locked in a trance, shuffling forward every few seconds as another person faced their fear.

“Atlas?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you ok?” Hermione whispered and Atlas glanced down at her, now looking around the room, seeing it was almost her turn – Ron was just now facing his fear.

“Uh…yeah,” Atlas nodded. Smiling a little as Ron’s spider struggled in rollerskates. Parvati went forward next, her fear turning out to be a giant cobra.

“You don’t look it,” Hermione said after another moment.

“Just…wondering about my fear,” she murmured just as Parvati turned her cobra into a jack-in-a-box. That sent a tiny shiver down her spine, she’d always hated those things.  

“Your turn, Atlas,” Ron smiled, nudging her forward, she blinked out of her daze and nodded quickly, moving forward and smiling slightly as Hermione proceeded to lecture Ron just out of earshot, only to turn red when the boy retorted something back. She paid it no mind though and instead turned to the Boggart. 

There was an uneasy feeling in her gut as she waited. Watching as the boggart shifted, going in and out of previous fears, Snape, a mummy, a banshee, a rat, a rattlesnake, a bloody eyeball, a severed hand, a cobra, a spider, before stopping on her fear.

What a fear it was. She staggered slightly as the form approached her, a misty being of smoke, with eyes that glowed a bright white and talons that extended from cloaked hands. It was the one that haunted her nightmares, the one that she somehow forgot when cycling through her fears, the one that blew up her mother and the one that gave her her scars.

“Riddikulus, Atlas! Riddikulus!” Professor Lupin reminded but she made no move to stop the ghostly figure, instead, she just watched as it stalked toward her, its clawed hands now extended and leaving trails of silver in the air as it mimicked tearing through her face. The wind was knocked from her as a dizzying ache burst throughout her chest and the tips of her fingers grew numb, whisps of darkness leaking from her palms. She clenched her fists in an attempt to get her magic under control, her eyes remaining on the cause in front of her. A body moved in her way and all of a sudden the fear changed and Atlas was left staring at the back of Harry Potter’s head.

The feeling subsided but the hold she had around her wand tightened and in a flash of hot anger she turned and grabbed up her things, barging out of the class with an itch like no other blooming across her face. Ever since she was a child that beast had roamed her nightmares as if it were its palace, and now it had barged into her conscious life, letting itself known to everyone in that classroom. 

Everything she had built to try and block that memory from her childhood just came crumbling down in a singular lesson and she was furious. It was like ripping an arrow out of a wound and you never rip an arrow out of a wound for it would just make it worse.

What’s worse is that she didn’t even face it, didn’t attempt to face it and almost let her emotions get the better of her, watching as, instead, Harry Potter, a boy who had been through enough in his life had to jump in for her. How was she to become an Auror like her mother if she couldn’t even fend off a Boggart? 

Though it wasn’t just a Boggart, was it? It was the monster that disfigured and blew up her mother, the one that followed her in the corner of her eye, the one that forced her to grow up and live in confinement. How she hated the monster.

“I need to fly…” She muttered and turned into the courtyard, making her way over to the Quidditch fields where she would find her broom and take off into the clouds. Her head was the clearest up there. Perhaps it was because of the lack of oxygen, leaving her dazed and disorientated to a point she couldn’t even think let alone worry about her problems. In the long run that might not be the best solution but it was the one she had and the one she would use.

“Hello, Black, fancy seeing you here.”

Merlin’s beard, Atlas could recognise that voice anywhere, “Diggory.”

“Heard you were on the Gryffindor Quidditch team now, so seeing you here shouldn’t be so much of a surprise I suppose, but during class time? Scandalous,” He grinned and Atlas turned to face him with drawn-in brows, unamused by his cheeriness when she had just faced a literal demon from her past. “What’s got you down?”

“…I’ll tell you in a minute, Ced,” she sighed, dragging her hands down her face and dumping her books and cloak in a heap on the grass. Cedric eyed her worriedly for a few moments before quickly running off to the broom closet and bringing out a spare stick for Atlas to fly on. Her own one being somewhere back in Hogsmeade. “Thanks.”

“How’s Izzie?” He asked, mounting his own broom and following after Atlas as she kicked off of the ground, gaze set up into the sky, with a distant look in her eye.

“Bella’s fine…I sent her a letter a few days ago, wrote back with pictures of the dragon she’s working with, she says hi by the way,” Atlas told, remembering the morning an Owl woke her from her slumber while she was still laying in a hospital bed under Madam Pomfrey’s care.

“That’s good…I didn’t get a chance to see you after the welcoming ceremony, I’ve been meaning to ask about her for a while,” He told as Atlas shifted so she was lying lengthways along her broom, hands behind her head and eyes searching the clouds for images and formations. “And uh…how are you?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean like, how are you settling in? Taking all things into consideration and such,” Cedric reworded with a nervous smile, Atlas let out a small huff of air, looking over at the boy with a sardonic looking smile.

“Oh yeah great, it was going fine up until I just had to face possibly the worst thing I could in Defence Against the Dark Arts,” She huffed out, grimacing when she closed her eyes and white orbs stained the darkness of her eyelids. Subconsciously, she had begun tracing her scars with the pads of her fingertips, pressing into the grooves every now and then.

“Oh Las, I’m sorry,” Cedric offered worriedly, scooting closer to her in the air and placing a hand on her shoulder. The girl stopped the pursuit of her scars and dropped her arm beside her, letting out a sigh that sent a cloud of chilly air through the cool breeze of the afternoon weather. “Shoot…” He muttered under his breath and Atlas turned to where he was looking, finding him staring down at a group of Hufflepuffs beckoning him towards them, “Uh…”

“Go ahead, Ced,” Atlas urged, sitting up and pushing his broom away, “I’ll see you in the kitchens some time or something.”

“Right, sorry Las,” He smiled apologetically, grabbing the back of her head and bringing her in for a forehead kiss, she smiled slightly and pushed him again, playfully this time and poked her tongue out at his smirk, “Love you, bear.”

“Yeah, yeah, see you, Cedric,” she smirked, watching as he flew back to the ground to regroup with his friends. There was silence now, the breeze the only sound past her ears but Atlas didn’t mind and went back to laying across her broom, gaze sky-bound. Her thoughts wandered back to the classroom, the look on Professor Lupin’s face when he realised just what her fear was, how Harry jumped in to save her from it, how Ron and Hermione looked when she stormed out of the classroom. A sigh brushed through her lips. She’d have to apologise, next she saw Professor Lupin.

“Atlas!” With a small grumble, Atlas turned her gaze to the floor where she saw Hermione gazing up at her, eyebrows drawn together and lips pulled into a frown. The look on her face conveyed her worry enough for Atlas to push away her want for solitude and slowly descend from the sky till she stopped a few metres in front of her. “You ran out of class.” 

Atlas hummed out a response, walking over to the spare broom shed and setting her old stick against one of the racks. Hermione followed her with both hers and Atlas’s cloaks and books hugged to her chest. 

“Are you ok?”

“No…” Atlas sighed, running her hand through her hair and turning to look down at Hermione, “Can I…?” She stopped, wrapping her arms around herself instead, “Nothing…don’t worry,” she continued and then took her stuff back, walking in the direction that would lead her back to the Gryffindor common rooms.

“Hey…we’re friends right?”

“Why?” Atlas asked, gaze still forward as Hermione finally managed to keep in step with the much longer-legged girl.

“Just — are we friends?”

“…Yeah,” Atlas shrugged.  

“Ok, and friends tell each other things.”

“I know how friends work, Hermione,” Atlas smirked, sending a sideways look to Hermione who promptly flushed and turned away sending a laugh bubbling out of Atlas’s mouth, “So you want to know how I’m feeling?”

“Basically,” Hermione smiled.

“Well…I don’t know, I was angry, scared and a bit confused but now, I guess I’m ok again.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Hermione, I’m sure…” Atlas murmured and then the strangest thing happened, Hermione quickly pulled her into a hug, causing Atlas to stagger slightly as Hermione had rushed her down to her smaller height so suddenly Atlas hadn’t gotten a chance to brace herself.

“Good…” She proceeded to whisper, Atlas’s hands continued to hover, not exactly sure of what to do. She had wanted to ask for this seconds ago but now that it was happening and Hermione was not the height of McGonagall, the angling was a bit awkward. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” 

Atlas gave in and cautiously wrapped her arms around Hermione’s much smaller frame, pushing her face into her shoulder. It felt light and warm, sure and strong, a foundation of sorts and it grounded Atlas. Hermione smelt like books and old parchment, syrup and melted chocolate alongside something fruity, peaches.

“You’re really warm,” Atlas’s voice was muffled by the shoulder of her cloak, but Hermione still heard it and smiled, holding a tiny bit tighter.

“And you’re surprisingly gentle.”

“Yes well…you’re tiny, I have to be careful,” Atlas grinned, pulling away and standing back to her full height, Hermione puffed up in indignation.

“I’m not tiny, you’re just huge.”

“I guess,” Atlas made a vague gesture to herself, furrowing her brows in thought.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Hermione sighed, nudging the girl’s shoulder with a closed fist, “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going to dinner.”

“Oh, alright.”

“And Atlas?”

“Yeah?”

“If you want a hug, don’t hesitate to ask next time.”

“…yeah.