Chapter 5

It was weird how quickly I seemed to click with Mackenzie, almost like we’d been friends in a past life. We bantered easily on the way to home room, teasing and laughing like I would with April and Faye. You wouldn’t have guessed I had been stood in the office an awkward mess less than ten minutes ago.

I brought her into homeroom and immediately all of the attention was on her, not that I minded. I didn’t like the leery way that most guys were staring at her though, no girl should have to be perved on like that.

Our teacher, Mrs. Chamberlain, immediately got her to tell everyone her name and a little bit about herself. It was pretty funny to watch, the way her neck blushed and that she was fiddling with her hands to cover up her nerves. I was surprised with how confidently she spoke considering the way her appearance betrayed her, and I raised my eyebrows April’s way when she told everyone that she played soccer. April knew exactly what I was thinking, that maybe she was the striker we’re looking for to replace Fruitless Freya. I scowl at the thought of her being our first option on the team. I can’t stand the girl and she’s not the player we need.

Speaking of the she devil, Mrs. Chamberlain sat Mackenzie in the spare seat next to her and her group of friends, Raven included. I narrow my eyes at the way Freya flips her pin straight brown hair over her shoulder before waving her hello, her eyes trained solely on the blonde bombshell. I can only imagine the crap she’s telling her about me, no doubt spinning me into this awful psycho bitch. I’m hoping Raven at the very least will say she’s being dramatic and that most people like me.

I tear my eyes away from her when her grey gaze catches me looking at her, my cheeks feeling hot at the realisation I got caught staring like a creep. April is chatting away to Faye, who’s quietly teasing her about how excited she is over the fact she has AP History with Derek. I shove my timetable onto the desk. “So, fess up your timetables girls!”

We quickly compare our sheets before first lesson, overall happy with my lessons. I have pretty much every lesson with either April or Faye, and we all have the same lunch hour and AP biology class. Clay and Derek text into the group chat their time tables and I don’t have any lessons except physics with Clay, and Derek is in AP biology with us, so I can guess that Faye is going to be my lab partner till at least Christmas. The only classes I spend by myself are English and Gym.

I hear Freya’s hyena laugh along with the rest of the class, and I tear my attention from April and Faye bickering like children to see what is going on. Mackenzie has a large grin on her face, Raven is pointing and laughing whilst Freya has her hand resting on Mackenzie’s arm. I frown slightly when I see how quickly Freya has managed to pull her into her group, but cover it up and smile when Mackenzie looks my way. She winks at me before returning her attention to the group of girls she’s sat with, my smile dropping off my face with a huff when she’s stopped looking my way.

I can tell that Freya has taken a liking to her. She’s one of three girls that are currently out and comfortable with their sexuality at our school, and I know based on her ex girlfriend that Mackenzie is without a doubt her type. The way her eyes linger that extra second on Mackenzie before moving on are clear cut signs.

At least the girl has taste. I scoff to myself.

The bell rings signalling first period is about to start. I let my eyes quickly scan where my first class is before walking over to Mackenzie. She’s passing her phone around the group, no doubt collecting numbers. I lean on the desk beside Raven who is watching Freya shamelessly flirting as she types her number into her phone. “You ready to go?”

Mackenzie’s grey eyes meet my hazel ones and I see her visibly relax, grabbing her bag and slipping her phone into her pocket. She nods and hands me her timetable which I scan over quickly, my mouth almost quirking upwards at the fact we have first period English together. Looks like I won’t be alone after all. “We’re in English together so I might not need to use my tardy slip yet.”

I walk ahead of Mackenzie and wait for her by the door, allowing her to say adios or whatever. I lock eyes with Raven who’s trying not to laugh at how much effort Freya is putting in, and I can’t help but laugh with her.

The glare that Freya sent me made me laugh harder.

By the time blondie manages to get away we only have three miuntes to get the whole way across school before first period. Luckily we don’t have any reason to go to our lockers or we’d be even later. At first we walk in silence, which isn’t exactly comfortable despite how quickly we got on during our walk to homeroom. My paranoia spikes at the thought of slander being aimed my way, but I highly doubt Mackenzie would be nice to my face if she had heard anything. “Are you going to be trialling for the soccer team?” I say eventually as we make out way through the sea of people crowing the corridors.

“Yeah.” Mackenzie replies as she pushes her way past a guy throwing a book across the hallway.  “I mean, if you don’t mind. I heard you’re captain?”

“Why would I mind?” I scrunch my nose in confusion at her absurd question. “If you’re a good player why wouldn’t I want you on my team?”

I push open the door to our english class and let her slip past me. She walks to an empty double desk at the back of the room and looks over her shoulder, waving me over when I make no move to follow and rolling her eyes when I simply raise my eyebrow. “Come on, I don’t know anyone besides you in this class.”

I laugh and take a seat beside her before Peter Morrison, resident manwhore and Clay’s football jock buddy, takes the seat himself. I stick my tongue out at the annoyed look on his face, and I know that he likes me too much to stay annoyed with me. I ruffle his hair as he sits in at the desk in front of me, my attention being drawn away from messing up his well gelled hair when I hear Mackenzie chuckle. I look at her and raise my eyebrow, leaning on my hand as I stare and bat my lashes. “Are you going to answer my question, or am I going to have to move seats?”

Mackenzie rolls her eyes, something I’ve noticed that she does a lot, as she mimics my position and rests her elbow on the desk and her chin in her hand. Her face isn’t that far from mine and I’m close enough to notice the swirling of colour in her irises. It’s pretty damn mesmerising. “I’ve heard you’re not a fan of newbies. You worried I’ll steal your limelight?”

I’m glad she tried to make a joke because that lie really isn’t funny. If you ask any of the younger girls on the team, I’m the friendliest. I know how nerve wracking it can be breaking into a new team, and if my experience and presence can make it easier than I’m going to help. I can only assume she told Freya that she plays up front and she’s told her I don’t like new people to stop her from stealing her spot in the most passive aggressive way possible. Trust Freya to make me sound like an egotistical bitch as well. “I don’t care if you’re the Messi to my Ronaldo. If you can play soccer and you’re better than someone else, you’re welcome on my team.”

Mackenzie chuckles, shaking her head as she pulls her pen and her notebook out her her bag. “Well, looks like I’ll be trialling then. Let’s hope I don’t show you up.”

I doubt we even play in the same position given the fact Freya already went down the sabotage route. “I doubt that.”

~•~

For the whole morning I showed Mackenzie around the school and to her lessons. I left her with Freya and Raven who took her to lunch from the lesson they share third period. She seemed slightly reluctant, which did wonders for my ego, but I wasn’t planning on dwelling on it.

I reached my usual lunch table to see that Clay and Derek were already seated, laughing and throwing half bitten fries at each other. My eyes rake across Clay’s figure, watching as his pale blue eyes snap up to mine and his expression becomes somber. I hate this. I hate how in limbo it feels like we are, like we’re walking on eggshells with each other. Like we can’t even have fun with each other.

I sigh when I remember how good it used to be.

“Hey look who it is!” Derek breaks the tension with his large booming voice, pointing a slender index finger at his cheek. “Kisses from the pretty captain please.”

I laugh and gently kiss his cheek, his stubble feeling scratchy against my lips. I pull away with a smile on my face before sliding into the empty space between him and my boyfriend. My smile becomes soft at the sight of Clay, my heart tightening in my chest.

Why can’t we be like we used to be?

I let my eyes scan over him, admiring the way he’s cut his hair since I last saw him. It’s short around the sides, his thick black curls left untouched and untamed on the top of his head. It’s common knowledge that Clay is considered the most attractive guy in school alongside Derek and a couple of other guys in our year; if you look at him you understand why. His features are sharp, his cheekbones and full lips paired off with his blue eyes and dark hair make him the perfect poster boy for Abercrombie and Fitch, despite the fact he’s not massively muscular like his friends on the football team. He’s always smiling, even if nowadays most of those smiles are fake.

“Hey Clay monster.” I say quietly, resting my hand on top of his under the table. He turns his hand and laces our fingers together, his smile a small but real one. “How has your day been?”

“It’s been okay, donut.” He replies, giving my hand a gentle squeeze, his free hand coming up to push some hair behind my ears. “I’ve already been rinsed for not doing the summer reading in English.”

Clay and I have been inseparable since we were four years old. Back then neither of us could pronounce each other’s names properly, Doherty apparently a mouthful for a boy with half of his teeth missing. Clay opted to call me donut because that was one of the longest words he could say without getting it wrong, and I didn’t want him to feel left out so I gave him the nickname Clay monster.

Yeah, my imagination as a kid absolutely sucked, but the nicknames have even stuck around for over ten years so I must’ve done something right.

I smirk and rest my head on his shoulder as the rest of our group turns up with their lunch, April throwing a brown paper bag my way. “My mom made you lunch. I swear she likes you more than me.”

The whole table laughs, Derek punching me lightly in the arm whilst keeping his eyes trained on his phone. I know he’s no doubt texting Raven, asking her to come and sit with us for lunch. He’s been asking her to sit with us for a while, even before school started, but Raven’s blatant dislike for April has her saying no and sticking to her own table.

I swear, the only person oblivious to the way April feels about Derek, is Derek.

Faye drops her tray in the space in front of me, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder, her eyes scanning the cafeteria before falling on me. Her light green eyes are full of concern as she nods her head towards me, her eyebrow raised in question. I glance to Clay, who’s chatting across the table to April. I know what she’s asking me. She’s asking me if I’m okay. These past two weeks where we’ve been trying to fix what we lost have been hard on everyone, our friendship group has been cracking through tension and the accidental picking of sides. Today is the first time anything has seemed normal, and holding hands is a big first step into fixing things.

I want us to be able to fix things between us as friends as the very least, even if this relationship eventually crumbles.

Faye is the first person to ask if I’m okay, not if Clay and I are okay. That’s what makes Faye different to April. She doesn’t press, she doesn’t pry. She asks and then accepts my answers even if she knows that I’m lying. I nod my head against my boyfriends shoulder, his grip on my hand tightening.

That’s all she needs. Faye nods before popping a grape in her mouth and leaving the subject alone. “Who’s ready to see the new cheer outfits?” She grabs her phone from her pocket and diverts the attention of everyone on the table.

Cheer is a very good topic to use as a distraction, especially the outfits. As much as I love Derek and Clay, the both share a very similar Neanderthal mind that drools at the sight of girls in short cheer outfits, regardless of the fact they both have girlfriends.

I have to admit that Kiera Walsh, Faye’s friend on the cheer team, really knows how to work that skirt. She’s gorgeous, someone I envy when it comes to her looks because she’s so damn attractive. I’m ashamed to say that I find myself staring more at her legs and her cleavage than I do at the outfit itself, mumbling quiet agreement with whatever April and Faye say about the fabric and it’s durability or whatever they were saying.

I kind of tuned out, but I’m brought straight back to reality when I feel hands clap down on my shoulders causing myself to jump in my seat. I whip my head around to see Raven looking down at our table and smirking, a knowing glint in her eyes as she watches her boneheaded boyfriend staring at the new “cheer outfits”.

“I think the colours work great together!” Raven grins, dropping down to her boyfriends level and kissing him delicately on the cheek. Her arm has snaked around my shoulder and I can smell the flowery tones of her perfume. “Don’t you think babe?”

Derek’s dark cheeks darken further as Raven laughs at his discomfort. She releases her arm around my shoulder to swap my neck for her boyfriends, kissing him behind his ear and telling him she’s joking.

I can’t help but feel sorry for April. Everyone knows that unrequited love sucks, and having to watch her crush interact with his girlfriend the way he is has to sting. But it isn’t Derek’s fault, and at the end of the day he has a girlfriend and April needs to suck it up and accept he isn’t more than a best friend to her.

“Sometimes I wonder if I should tell him how she feels.” Clay whispers in my ear, his hand lacing his fingers through mine once again. I turn to look at him and nod slightly, knowing exactly how he feels.

“Because if we told him maybe he wouldn’t be so obvious about it?” I ask and watch as my boyfriend nods his head in agreement, a handful of his dark tresses falling in front of his blue eyes. I push them out of the way of his face and watch as he smiles softly, the look in his eyes making my chest tigthen. Moments like this, these quiet moments between us that we used to share all the time, this is why I wanted to stay and make it work. “I feel the same but it isn’t our secret to tell.”

His eyes fall to our hands as he sighs heavily, his thumb brushing across my knuckles. “I know, but I hate to see April hurting, she’s the sister I never had.”

“I hate it too.” I mumble, my free hand coming up to cup his cheek. His skin is smooth against my palm, no doubt he shaved his morning. I wait until his eyes are glued to mine again before kissing him softly, briefly, fleetingly. His lips are warm against mine and they bring the familiar comfort they used to. I smile and lean back, his face a mirror of mine. “But it’s her secret and we have no right to tell him.”

I let go of his face and we return to the conversation, Clay quickly dodging a fry that Faye threw his way, April laughing at something Derek said now that Raven has disappeared back to her table. For the first time in months, our group is starting to feel normal.

And that makes me happy.

I feel like I have someone’s eyes on me. I tear my gaze away from my friends to look around the cafeteria. Everyone is involved in their own conversations with their friends. Except one pair of grey eyes. She’s sat with Freya, Raven and most of the other girls on my soccer team, but she’s not engaged in their conversation. She’s watching me intently, an indecipherable look on her face. I maintain eye contact until Freya talking directly to her has her looking from me.

If I had to take a guess as to what emotion she was portraying I would say annoyance or anger, but I don’t know why. What have I done to her to make her mad? I shake my head free of my thoughts when Clay drapes his arm over my shoulder, and I force myself to get involved in the conversation.

And not think about what I’d done to piss off the blonde bombshell.

~•~